5 Ways To Honor Your Spouse When You Don’t Feel Like It

If we are being honest with ourselves – there are times in marriage that you simply do not feel like honoring your spouse. While this will vary from marriage to marriage, it is quite simply a challenge that every marriage is faced with.

So what do we do when we don’t feel like honoring our spouse?

We honor them anyway!

5 Ways To Honor Your Spouse When You Don’t Feel Like It

Here are 5 ways to honor your spouse in those oh-so-hard moments when our flesh is rising up:

1. Take a deep breath and pray. This might seem a bit too simple, but it’s not. This actually presents quite a challenge in the times when disagreements arise. But with a lot of self-discipline and practical application – this one step alone will show your spouse how much you love them.

2. Gently touch your spouse. A soft gentle touch can do so much when someone is angry and hurting. While everyone’s love languages are different, there is something to be said about how physical touch affects the body. Choose to do this wisely as timing is key. God will show you the right time to honor your spouse in this way.

3. Say something nice. Break up the emotion by saying something kind about your spouse. Affirming them with your sincere heartfelt words will show them how much you really care.

4. Don’t pressure your spouse to talk if they are not ready. Some people take a little while to process their feelings and that is okay. If your spouse is this way, honor them by not pushing them to talk until they have had time to gather their own thoughts and process what has happened.

5. Always be quick to apologize. This is another area that may prove to be difficult in your natural mindset. The key is renewing your mind in God’s word about the importance of being humble.

In order to complete the steps above, you will have to commit yourself to reading the Bible and praying every day. We recommend that you do it with your spouse (if they are a fellow believer) to intensify your marriage. If your spouse is not a believer, you should seek out accountability from a Christian friend, church ministry, or Pastor to help keep you on track in this area of your life. Remember to take it one day at a time as change does not happen over night. If you haven’t already read it, we’d highly recommend reading The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Dr. Gary Chapman.

Imagine if both you and your spouse followed the above tips to honor one another in those hard times. It would transform your marriage. While it may not be easy, take a step towards these every time you do not feel like honoring your spouse and you’ll be amazed how God will meet you where you are at and help you change your heart!

Here’s to a happier marriage!

Michael & Carlie Kercheval


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  1. I love these tips, and you’re right, it’s SO difficult to do at times. I try to do all of these, but fail often. I’ve gotta keep on practicing and living in the Word. Thank you for this inspiration!

    1. Samantha,
      Yes, it is all about practicing, isn’t it? Thankfully we serve a forgiving, merciful, and loving God to help us overcome our sinful nature. Praying for you as you continue to shine for Jesus! ((HUGS))

  2. Such wise advise! Really loving our spouse isn’t about just being loving when the warm fuzzy feelings are there, but real love is to love them when those warm fuzzies aren’t happening – that’s what real biblical love is all about. Thanks for the reminders on how we can love as Christ calls us to. I can especially relate to #1. Slow to speak and quick to pray is one way God has used to help me love my spouse more as He would have me to 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for your comment, Kelly 🙂 Yes, real biblical love is hard. It was modeled to us through the work of the cross. Thank you for loving your husband, it speaks volumes about our Jesus and plants seeds of His unfailing love into the world 🙂

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