for the family

everyday wisdom for everyday families

For the Family Marriage

Marriage is a Thousand Little Things {Launch Week Giveaway #2}

Marriage is a Thousand Little Things

“I do,” is one of the shortest sentences in our English language and yet it carries a promise that’s too vast to be measured by man.

It’s not one thing we do, but a thousand little things that make up the sum of our vows.

Long-lasting love doesn’t happen by accident. We don’t find ourselves holding hands after twenty-five years with the one that we love by pure chance. Love is deliberate, it’s intentional, it’s purposeful, and in the end it’s worth every minute that we give of ourselves to another.

Marriage is a thousand little things.

It’s giving up your right to be right in the heat of an argument. It’s forgiving another when they let you down. It’s loving someone enough to step down so they can shine. It’s friendship. It’s being a cheerleader and trusted confidant. It’s a place of forgiveness that welcomes one home, and arms they can run to in the midst of a storm. It’s grace.

It’s giving of yourself tirelessly down paths you’d never imagine to travel. Through sickness and pain, poverty and loss, it’s carrying the weight of another. It’s being the smile they see in the morning, and the body they hold close at night. It’s pure love. It’s standing together in the face of adversity. It’s riding alongside each other in a battle that threatens to tear down your marriage and seeks to grab hold of your faith. It’s strength under pressure.

It’s listening to the heart of another and understanding their pain. It’s offering words of encouragement when they need it most. It’s walking hand-in-hand in the park, and a gentle kiss in the pouring rain. It’s laughing together.

It’s endless compassion.

Marriage is ordained by an almighty God, and when we live out our vows according to His incredible wisdom and grace…it never fails.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-6, NIV

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht, Time Warp Wife

Launch Week Giveaway Day #2

Enter to win our launch week giveaways with rafflecopter below!!

What’s in the Bible DVD Set Vol. 1-12

What's in the Bible Vol. 1-12 from Phil Vischer

The Good Wife’s Guide by Darlene Schacht {5  Paperback Copies}

The Good Wife's Guide by Darlene Schacht

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Comments

  2. What are some practical ways marred couples can do prayer and Bible study time together…..and still have time for personal prayer and Bible study?

  3. Any Question…How do you get through the years where it feels like the kids are all our relationship is about?

  4. How do you have a relationship with your husband who goes to work at 6 pm and returns between 9 and 10 am usually 6 days a week. How do you build a relationship between your 8 children and this father that they generally only see sleeping and leaving.

  5. I am so very excited about this new website. And the things that you said about marriage have my head and my heart turning. I am going to be copying this article and re-reading it throughout the day because I am sure there is more wisdom in the things you have said than I realize.

  6. Hi Darlene!

    I’ve been reading your blog for more than a year now, and I’m getting married in 3 weeks (eek!). What’s your #1 piece of advice for new brides?

  7. Thanks Darlene for always sharing such encouraging content on marriage. I have been reading your blog for two years and found such an uplifting of my heart to Jesus there.

  8. My last name is Good, so it would be fun to win a copy of The Good Wife’s Guide. 🙂 I like Natasha’s question about ways to make our marriage about us during the busy time of life when it’s all about the kids.

  11. Oh dear, I see a common theme…my question as a wife of 22 years is how to carve out that time for one another? My husband is an executive who works 11 hour days on top of a daily 2 hour commute…we homeschool our youngest and our oldest two attend a local university as commuters..we are simply too, too busy!! Help!

  13. My husband and I are going through a season of selfishness, arrogance and self righteousness. 🙁 I needed to read these words today. Thank you!

  16. When you have hit a rough spot, what are activities spouses can do to begin to strengthen a weak marriage?

  18. This is more of a statement than a question….learning to let go and let God when it comes to my husband…

  20. Lovely post and lovely website! I would love more posts on how to keep our marriage a priority when our children occupy so much of our time and energy!

  21. It’s really more rhetorical, but it really does get better the more years you have together, doesn’t it? 🙂 We’ve been married 11 years and these past couple years have been the best.

  24. How true, what a great way to sum it up. Something we need to keep in mind married 15, 40, 5 or 1 year.

  25. Any tips for finding time for each other when work, children, and ministry take so much of your time and energy?

  26. If I could ask any question about marriage it would be, how do you find time for your husband when you have a toddler and you both work full time and you are trying to prepare your toddler for preschool by doing tot school at home? Part of our problem is I’m a morning person and my husband is a night owl.

  28. I would ask for ways to make time for one another. It can be quite tough with our busy lives to make sure we have enough one on one time.

  29. My husband and I will be celebrating our first anniversary in a few weeks, and we strive to live out Paul’s instructions at the end of Ephesians 5. So far, we both need improving, but we’re doing it hand in hand, supporting each other every step of the way!!

  30. I can’t think of a question about marriage! I’m just thrilled about this new website. I have been a follower of The Better Mom for years and now my husband and I both follow For the Family!

  31. What a great post! People do forget that it is the little things that add up to the big things in a happy marriage. Very excited for this new site.

  34. What a wonderful thing you’re doing here! I love this site already. I’m going to have to reorganize my time management in the daytime because I’m tempted to spend all of my time reading these amazing posts! Bless you!

    • We rent on-demand movies, cook on grill, & send kiddos to family or friends and have date night at home occasionally! You can also take advantage of community concerts, music venues, etc. or maybe just go out for ice cream!

  36. I am SO excited for this website! I have been married to my husband for 2 years and our son is almost 11 months old! I can’t wait to use this as a resource for our family 🙂

  37. I can’t think of a question regarding marriage…but I would love to see more on rekindling the relationship after major hurt has occurred.

  38. This is so wonderful! marriage is such a blessing and so beautiful! thank you for committing to such an amazing and needed cause! I am so excited to see what God has in store for this ministry. question: how do you keep you marriage strong when life is so busy?

  39. A question about marriage, hmmm. I know that doing devotions together as a husband and wife is important. How do you find the time when you’re not dog-tired at the end of the day? And is it better to just read scripture or a devotional? What would be a good one?

  42. How do we find time for one another during the week when we both work different shifts?(Im on 3rd and he’s on 2nd)

  43. I’m so excited for this site, I am a young wife/mom and new Christian. I’m trying to do it all the way I trust I’m supposed to but frequently feel like I’m failing. Blogs like this lift me up and help me learn how to be a mom and wife.

  44. With almost 24 years of marriage God could not have blessed me with a better husband. I am so thankful for him everyday.

  45. i am very excited for this site! i love all the contributors and i am so looking forward to the wisdom i can learn from & share with others 🙂

  46. Excited about this site! Marriage questions: What is the best way to enrich your marriage, spiritually?

  48. This goes right along with all the Biblical teaching I’ve learned about marriage through the years as well as what I’m experiencing.

  49. So excited to see Darlene is contributing here!!! That article was very needed and encouraging 🙂

  50. Loved the article! I would like to know what are some practical tips/ideas to feel more connected to my husband when he is away (he works out of town: 2 weeks away, 1 week home) and how to make the most of our time together when he is home. Fortunately, this is only temporary! 🙂

    • I always leave my husband intimate text messages while away. It is also good to plan a date night for a day after he gets home…just a few hours child-free alone time is so great! I also make sure my husband has an hour or so to himself when he gets back in from a trip so he can recharge. We have also planned a night at home while kids were with nana/grandad or friends … Made dinner and watched movies together. Definitely nice to stay in sometimes!
      🙂

      • Oh! And impromptu lunch dates! I like to meet my husband for lunch or have him home for lunch so we can see each other midday 🙂

  51. thanks for sharing.my question would be how to deal with different levels of social needs. SO wants me around him and his friends and I’m not a very social person but know I need to have some level of compromise.

  52. Love this new site. I would like to know what to do when affection is not shown in our marriage daily.

  53. Love this site! As a grandmother and mother, I would love to know how to teach how to model commitment, faithfulness, and communication in marriage before the trouble starts.

  54. What is the best way to connect when you are going through busy seasons of life (kids are 9, 4, and 2 and I work days while my husband works nights)?

  57. Marriage is always little things! Even submission. I realized I was challenging him in small things and it led to a bigger issue.

  63. How do you open the pathways for communication when you’re both conflict avoiders? He thinks the relationship is great because “we never fight.” But really, we never fight because we never talk about anything all that important. When I try to, he shuts down or distracts. So ways to work thru that so we can have an intimate relationship rather than a “comfortable” roommate-like one.

  65. This statement is where God has totally strengthened me and my marriage: “Through sickness and pain, poverty and loss, it’s carrying the weight of another.” I think if we can get through those difficulties, our marriage is definitely a lasting one. 🙂

  67. SO good! I love being married and I love that we got married so young (at the age of 21)

  68. How to get help when you need it with out speaking badly about your spouse. I think this is one of the main reason couples don’t get help we are told not to speak negatively about our spouse and are afraid to reach out for help.

  70. I’m loving the great encouragement and challenges from this site! My question would have to be in regards to time– how do you balance time alone with your spouse while still having time together as a family?

  71. How to best offer encouragement to your spouse when he is going through a tough time, with out making him feel like he is less of a man because of the circumstances that are out of his control?

  74. How to help your spouse who “believes” but does not attend church with me and my children because of scars from a prior experience over 20 years ago. I would love for him to attend with me but try REALLY hard not to nag or make an issue out of it.

  75. We marry the person God intended. Our marriage is not perfect…but it is a wonderful unity.

  76. My question is how do I make my husband my priority when I have three little ones five years old and under? I am exhausted just trying to keep up with them, and many times I feel guilty because my husband gets my “leftovers.”

  77. learning to leave the selfishness behind and learning the art of compromise/sacrifice/unconditional love!

  79. How do we get back to time for just the two of us when I’m a nursing, stay-at-home mom?

  81. How do you continue to “date” once children are in the picture? Need cheap/no cost suggestions.

  84. How can we as wives better encourage our husbands without being phony or cheesy? Some husbands need more encouragement than others…this question is for the women who are married to them.

  87. Men and women are so different. Sometimes, it is good to read books about the differences in character and such between a man and a woman. A good book to read is “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus”. As well as reading “Christian books” to help inspire and guide us. As well as reading these great “For the Family” inspirational blogs. We can become better wives with understanding without being ran over and such. As well as it well help the husbands understand the difference an understand us women and be better husbands. It is hard, but through pray, faith, hope, love, and knowledge it is possible to create a better marriage.

  94. how to find a balance as a mom and wife-everytime I feel like I might have it down another child has an activity that comes up-haha!!

  96. What have you learned about marriage that you think every single woman should know to help equip themselves for success?

  98. One question, is how to find the proper balance between family and business and blogging as a SAHM/WAHM mom and wife.

    Shirley
    aandsrempel at yahoo dot ca

  100. Love this site and all of the wonderful advice that I get from it! Thank you for your honesty and wisdom!

  102. How to bring the passion back to your marriage, specially when the other spouse doesn’t really try?

  105. How do you manage responsibilities as a wife and mother with 2 under the age of 2? We seem to be having a hard time balancing life right now as well as ministry at church.

  106. How do we train ourselves not to say anything negative about our spouse in front of our children? We should always speak positive, uplifting words about our spouse in front of our children but in the heat of the moment, we often don’t and it can unfairly give them a negative image of the other person.

  107. I would ask how do you both work through not getting angry so easily and being gentler with your words. Its so hard to not snap at each other (or the kids) and talk with kind gentle words. That’s the biggest obstacle in my marriage right now.

  108. How to find time alone in a marriage with no money for childcare and lots of little ones demanding time?

  111. Can’t wait to use the What’s in the Bible curriculum with my girls in our homeschool. 😉

  112. It’s definitely about the small things! Forgetting petty grievances and striving for a friendship and love that can stand the test if time – it can’t be achieved without God’s help!

  119. Forgot my question: what little things can be implemented to show you still care about your spouse when little babies leave you so tired?

  120. how do you create time for your spouse when almost every moment feels like it is consumed by the wonderful littles ( children) in your life?

  121. How to keep together after the loss of a child. I thought we were doing
    well but we’re *really* not okay anymore seven years after the loss of
    our baby boy. We have other children and seem to be constantly fighting.
    I think we’re both dealing with depression too. I know for sure I am.
    My husband’s boss is an awful person and “stuff” rolls downhill. I’m not
    married to the same man anymore. We also moved back to our home town
    and I absolutely hate it here. The people are mean, selfish and are only
    looking to keep up with the Joneses. Our families are nearby and are a
    really bad influence on the both of us. They purposely try to polarize
    us and with everything else we’re dealing with right now, it’s working.
    Why these people want to see us miserable I will never understand. We’ve
    been together for nearly 22 years and I can’t believe we’re falling
    apart now after all this time.