Pride is always easier to see in others than it is to see in ourselves. That is the nature of pride. It blinds us from looking inward, directing our focus on others, but not in a good way, not in a loving way. Pride seeks self-preservation at all costs.
I don’t say that to mean my marriage is dying, but it is being heavily affected by its presence. Lately, I have been wrestling with pride in my heart, and I am starting to see the devastation it is causing. I thought by now pride would not be an issue, as if I had already overcome it.
Regardless of what we have overcome in the past we need to be prepared for more battles ahead! I am learning that just because I may have dealt with a certain issue once and made it through, that does not mean I will never be tested again.
I have been prideful in my attitude toward my husband, in my words, in the way that I respond to him. It motivates me to argue my opinions and perspectives unrelentingly. It encourages me to withhold affection until I feel validated. It stirs contention in my heart to assume whether my husband truly loves me. Pride deceives me and by allowing it to reside in me, I am allowing it to destroy my marriage.
It is time to stop. I repent of the pride in my heart. I lay it at God’s throne and ask that He transforms me.
I desire to be a wife that recognizes when she is failing or messing up or sinning, and also repents, turns around completely and relies on The Lord to change me.
I want humility to lead my heart, and I want to remain teachable so that I can mature and grow as a wife. I cannot do that with a heart full of pride…pride that seeks to preserve the me that I truly don’t want to be.
It is never too late to change, to say “I’m sorry”, to ask God to transform! But the resistance I meet will be pride grasping for room in my heart to stay.
I must not give up trying to be better. It is worth it for me and my marriage; it is worth it.
– Jennifer Smith, Unveiledwife.com