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The Power of Humility in Relationships

The Power of Humility in Marriage or any Relationship

In humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. ~ Philippians 2:4, NIV

Humility is found in many forms such as modesty, meekness, humbleness, lowliness of mind, and submission. These are all things that go against our natural desire to excel  and be seen in this world. We are driven by a need to be right, to be in charge and to come first, and time and again, our flesh deceives us into thinking that settling for anything less is a sign of weakness.

Take a look at this quote from GotQuestions.org, it sums up why the Jews refused to accept Jesus as the Messiah:

The Jews rejected Jesus because He failed, in their eyes, to do what they expected their Messiah to do—destroy evil and all their enemies and establish an eternal kingdom with Israel as the preeminent nation in the world. The prophecies in Isaiah and Psalm 22 described a suffering Messiah who would be persecuted and killed, but they chose to focus instead on those prophecies that discussed His glorious victories, not His crucifixion. ~ Got Questions?org

They wanted a king, who would be triumphant over their enemies, but instead they saw a man who was oppressed and afflicted and brought as a lamb to the slaughter. They wanted strength, but what they found was a weak and broken man who refused to strike back.

It’s amazing what people miss out on when they refuse to open their eyes. What they failed to see, is the same thing that many people fail to see today which is the incomparable power of humility.

Humility, submission, and lowliness of mind can only occur when the soul is triumphant over the flesh–when our desire to come first is put aside for the good of another. Or in the case of our Savior and Lord, His desire was put aside for the good of mankind.

Let’s take a look at the following verses:

Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again. No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father. ~ John 10:17-18, KJV

Do you see the power in those two verses? It’s incredible! There wasn’t a single moment during His life when Jesus was under the thumb of mankind. Every step that He took to the cross was a willful  and deliberate act of service to His Father.

In the same way, submission is a willful and deliberate act of service that we bring to the Lord. Our flesh wants nothing more than to be in control, to win every argument, and to put ourselves first. Those who exercise humility take up their cross daily by laying down the desire of the flesh for the good of another.

Did you notice the word I used there? Exercise. Just like athletes who are training for a race we must train ourselves to be patient, hold our tongue, give up our need to be right, and choose joy. The stronger we get the more power we have over the flesh.

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. ~ Matthew 16:324, KJV

The next time you’re told that submission is a step back for women, remember that every step that you take to the cross is a willful  and deliberate act of service to God.


Darlene, Time Warp Wife

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  1. This was great! And I am so glad I got to read it!
    Submission has become such a dirty word in our society, but it is not bad as most people would have us think. I gladly submit myself to the Lord and my husband every day. It is hard, but it is easier to do what is right, and go with God, than to submit to my flesh.

  2. This was great Darlene 🙂 In our Bible study group we are studying Galatians 5:13 and last week’s verse was Philippians 2:3-4 🙂 Our current topic is Serving Others. This fit so nicely with our study, I shared this post with our group. I love how you used the exercise analogy at the end. It’s so very true!

  3. Darlene, you inspire me on a pretty constant basis. 🙂 Recently, I asked God to show me sin in my life that I’m missing. You know, the sin that flies under the radar and disguises itself as perfectly normal? Since then, I’ve seen this post and another of your posts on humility (Purity- Day 2). I’m about to write my own blog about it now. As always, I’ll be sure to let everyone know where I got my inspiration!

    Thank you so much for using the gifts God has given you for His glory, helping all of us become closer to Him!

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