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For the Family Marriage Relationships

How to Share Your Life {Launch Week Giveaway #4}

How to Share Your Life Joyfully

I knew I wanted to marry John on our first date. How? Even more than my physical attraction {he was cute}, I was impressed by our conversation. John told me about his growing up years, his time in the Marine Corp, and his hopes for the future. I knew he was someone I could share a life with.

Do you share your life joyfully with your spouse?

Here are 7  ways you can…

  1. Share memories: Memories give us a glimpse into each other’s past. I understand my husband better because of the memories he shares. He understands me better, too.
  2. Share dreams: Ask your spouse, “If you could do anything what would it be?” The answer may surprise you. Allow your spouse to dream without thinking about logistics and cost. Pray about how to make those dreams possible … or other similar {smaller} dreams.
  3. Share hopes: Dreams look outward, but hopes are what’s tucked deep inside. What does your spouse hope for his/her marriage, parenting, job? Ask.
  4. Share pet-peeves: My husband is bothered by sticky fingers and toys cluttering the living room. And he overlooks a lot of things that drive me crazy. A lot of little annoyances can be avoided if you realize that pet-peeves may not be big issues, but they do matter.
  5. Share laughs: Laughter can help couples face hard situations with grace. Recently we added two new children to our home (adopting from the foster care system), and sometimes we were so overwhelmed that all we could do was laugh! Laughter helped us overcome a lot of battles together.
  6. Share prayers: A dozen years ago John and I started praying together in the morning. Those prayers mean so much to me. When I hear my husband’s whispered prayers I face the day with confidence.
  7. Share a mission: Last week I interviewed Gary Thomas concerning his new book The Sacred Search. This is what he had to say about a shared mission:

 “The old cliché is all too true: a good marriage is the closest two people will ever come to heaven this side of eternity; a bad marriage is the closest two people in an affluent society will ever come to hell.

“Such problems usually erupt from trying to build a life together without purpose, without mission, without something that not only establishes a connection but keeps you caring about each other for the next fifty to sixty years.” Gary Thomas

What is your mission as a couple?

Come up with 3-4 words that answer this statement: “This is what we’re about …”

John and I focus on service, evangelism, hospitality, and making memories. This is who “we” are, and our life and choices reflect that. I’m thankful that I have this man to share my life with.

Now … what about you?

What do you share with your spouse? What is your mission as a couple?

Blessings, Tricia

You might want to subscribe to my email updates, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram.

Photo source: www.thinkstock.com

Launch Week Giveaway Day #4

Enter to win our launch week giveaways with Rafflecopter below!!

Lead Your Family Like Jesus by Ken Blanchard, Phil Hodges & Tricia Goyer (5 copies)

Lead Your Family Like Jesus

 $50 Amazon Gift Card

Amazon

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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About Tricia Goyer

Tricia Goyer is a CBA best-selling author of 33 novels and the winner of two American Christian Fiction Writers’ Book of the Year Awards (Night Song and Dawn of a Thousand Nights).  She co-wrote 3:16 Teen Edition with Max Lucado and contributed to the Women of Faith Study Bible.  Tricia is the host of a weekly radio show, Living Inspired.  Also, a noted marriage and parenting writer, she lives with her husband and children in Arkansas.  You can join her atTriciaGoyer.com, on Facebook and Twitter.

« Creating a Gospel-Centered Home {Launch Week Giveaway #3}
Follow the Yellow Lines {Launch Week Giveaway #5} »

Comments

  1. Jonna Barnett says

    September 5, 2013 at 11:15 am

    Great advice, thanks!

    • Tricia Goyer says

      September 5, 2013 at 1:15 pm

      You’re welcome, Jonna!

  2. mandyponderingsofasimpleheart says

    September 5, 2013 at 11:23 am

    Unity. Finding unity between parents and prioritizing make it difficult.

    • Tricia Goyer says

      September 5, 2013 at 1:15 pm

      Baby steps go a long way! Keep it up, friend!

      • mandyponderingsofasimpleheart says

        September 6, 2013 at 11:18 am

        🙂 Thank you! I’m so thankful we get to wake up each morning and begin with grace and mercy!

  3. Kara L says

    September 5, 2013 at 11:29 am

    Love coming up with a mission as a couple! Will be doing that for sure!

    • Tricia Goyer says

      September 5, 2013 at 1:15 pm

      Awesome, Kara!

  4. Tracey Tracy says

    September 5, 2013 at 11:33 am

    Keeping the busyness of life from taking away our time to worship, pray, or just spending time with fellow Christians, knowing that is how we grow in the Lord.

    • Tricia Goyer says

      September 5, 2013 at 1:14 pm

      Being busy really is a great killer of family connection. So glad you mentioned this!

  5. Britni Ewing says

    September 5, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    Having a mission/goal together. Had not thought of it that way. My husband and I need to have a good sit down! 🙂 Thanks for the inspiration.

    • Tricia Goyer says

      September 5, 2013 at 1:14 pm

      You are welcome, Britni! Let me know how it goes!

  6. Sarah Wiley says

    September 5, 2013 at 12:11 pm

    Some great suggestions and a thought provoking quote!

    • Tricia Goyer says

      September 5, 2013 at 1:13 pm

      Oh, I know! I used to get so frustrated with “spilled milk.” When I feel the frustration building I try to picture my family 5 years in the future, and I ask … “What will really matter?” Thank you so much for being real! I relate!

  7. Cassie DeLapp says

    September 5, 2013 at 12:43 pm

    It knowing how to do it. Mom didn’t teach us so we are winging it right now.

    • Tricia Goyer says

      September 5, 2013 at 1:11 pm

      Cassie, so many of grew up in challenging homes. I’m there with you! I hope you win a copy of Lead Your Family Like Jesus because it’ll help you find direction … which is so much easier than winging it. Hugs to you!

  8. Erin says

    September 5, 2013 at 12:48 pm

    My husband and I had a goal – but we are in a season of feeling like that goal is failing. It seems like as soon as you set a goal to live for and serve God with your lives the enemy jumps right it to make it super difficult!

    • Tricia Goyer says

      September 5, 2013 at 1:09 pm

      Erin, that’s so true! Either God is fine-tuning you (making you like pure gold) or redirecting you to a newer, better goal!

  9. Mara Friedman Gieseke says

    September 5, 2013 at 12:51 pm

    My biggest challenge is grace and compassion. They don’t come easily for me, especially with my own family. But I am learning and growing in that area:)

    • Tricia Goyer says

      September 5, 2013 at 1:08 pm

      We all struggle with that, Mara! Remember the fruit of the Spirit–grace and compassion–are God working through you. Surrendering works better than striving! Hugs to you!

  10. Becky Jones says

    September 5, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    We strive to “go lower” in serving our family…we try not to gloss over issues, but spend a lot of time in discussion, sometimes tears, forgiveness, prayer and service to others outside our home as well as practicing hospitality as a family bringing others in- the precious Holy Spirit is the empowerment of it all!!

    • Tricia Goyer says

      September 5, 2013 at 1:05 pm

      I love that, Becky. Really finding unity in the small things makes a big difference!

  11. Michelle Corning says

    September 5, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    We are all about…..Serving each other, holding our children’s hearts, training our children and Worship 🙂

    • Tricia Goyer says

      September 5, 2013 at 5:09 pm

      Awesome answer!! I love it!

  12. msharon says

    September 5, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    My biggest challenge is my temper. I feel like I am so short tempered with my children, and even though it’s something I feel like I am constantly working at, I try to always humbly apologize to my kids when I behave poorly. I wish it wasn’t a struggle.

    • Tricia Goyer says

      September 5, 2013 at 5:09 pm

      We’ll be perfect in heaven. And I’m so glad! I know God can help you … He’s helped me in this area. Hugs.

  13. maureen73 says

    September 5, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    Our biggest challenge in our family is outside influences and sheltering our young children (without suffocating them) from the negative factors in the world.

    • Tricia Goyer says

      September 5, 2013 at 5:11 pm

      Maureen, I just wrote a blog on the “sheltering” part that will be coming soon. I found that serve the needy side-by-side with your children makes them aware of the world, but in a safe way.

  14. Tisha says

    September 5, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    Remembering to be patient… I’d love to be more patient all the time, but sometimes the response comes out too quick, so yes. Patience is my biggest challenge. :o1

    • Tricia Goyer says

      September 5, 2013 at 5:13 pm

      Tisha, it happens to all of us. Deep breathing helps … I’m even teaching that to my kids!

  15. Shaena F says

    September 5, 2013 at 1:13 pm

    The biggest challenges we face, are from “outside” distractions. It can be difficult, sometimes, when there is so much going on, around us.

    • Tricia Goyer says

      September 5, 2013 at 5:24 pm

      Once you know what you’re “about” it’s easier to say no. This was so HARD for me, but I’m so much better at this!

  16. Kerry Miller says

    September 5, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    The biggest challenge we face is that my husband wasn’t raised in a godly home and just recently came to know Christ. Old, sinful, worldly habits die hard.

    • Tricia Goyer says

      September 5, 2013 at 5:25 pm

      Wow, that is a big challenge Kerry, but that’s awesome about his new life in Christ!! Praying for growth in God!

  17. Amanda Johnson says

    September 5, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    My biggest challenge is trying to practice grace.

    • Tricia Goyer says

      September 5, 2013 at 5:25 pm

      That is hard, Amanda. Thank you for sharing!

  18. jbhoward says

    September 5, 2013 at 1:28 pm

    Great list! I love living joyfully with my bride and all of these are truths we use to live joyfully together. Printing this list as a reminder, though.

  19. Katie Dorsey says

    September 5, 2013 at 1:28 pm

    My biggest road block is patience. This too will pass….. I need to show more love and grace too but mostly patience!

  20. Elisabeth Lind says

    September 5, 2013 at 1:39 pm

    having patience with the kids and my husband while constantly serving them. That’s the hardest.

  21. Jeanine says

    September 5, 2013 at 1:39 pm

    My biggest challenge right now is that my husband is not turning his life over to God and struggling with anger/rage management. Instead of being the family’s spiritual leader he is increasingly following the ways of the world.

  22. Missy says

    September 5, 2013 at 1:48 pm

    * A major challenge of leading my family like Jesus is “society” the way it is today. We have to continually guide ourselves and even more importantly our children. Society is going against anything like Jesus. We as adults know right from wrong and we were brought up in a different society, but our children are being brought up in a very corrupt society. So, we are always continuously working so very hard to lead our kids like Jesus.
    * Another major challenge is remembering “our purpose” of being here. Not getting misguided by people, things, and life in general.

  23. The-How-to-Guru.com says

    September 5, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    My biggest challenge is having patience with my family

  24. Stephanie (MomKaboodle) says

    September 5, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    My biggest challenge is setting the example for my family with my own attitude ~ leading and serving with patience and kindness.

  25. Toni Martin says

    September 5, 2013 at 2:01 pm

    Looking forward to looking over your site! Great giveaway.

  26. Billie Marie Lewis says

    September 5, 2013 at 2:09 pm

    My biggest challenge right now is patience because I have been out of work since

    Oct, 2012 due to health issues. I suffer from Chronic Daily Basilar Artery Migraines with Vertigo and Aura, which has caused me to not be able to drive since May of 2012. I have to stay in a dark, quiet house most days, which is definitely hard on my family, but it has really taken its toll on me as well. I get short with them sometimes when they get loud, forgetting that I have a bad migraine.

  27. Jalynn Patterson says

    September 5, 2013 at 2:40 pm

    Staying committed even in the toughest circumstances.

  28. Tamara Wilkins says

    September 5, 2013 at 3:12 pm

    Love the idea about making a mission statement with your spouse that
    can be summed up in 3 words… Also, I’d say our biggest challenge to leading our family like Jesus is plain selfishness, and especially for me, rebellion against his word to be content as my husbands help meet.

  29. Jeannette says

    September 5, 2013 at 3:21 pm

    I am a sinner 🙁 It’s so hard to not show my selfish side, to be patient, and to respond lovingly in all situations.

  30. Carol Emmert says

    September 5, 2013 at 3:34 pm

    Time…it keep ticking, and we feel rushed. We are trying to be more intentional with making lasting memories as a family.

  31. Cheryl Baranski says

    September 5, 2013 at 3:41 pm

    First of all being a sinner. Second not studing and reading the word daily like I should. Akways doubting myself.

  32. Constitutionchic says

    September 5, 2013 at 3:41 pm

    My youngest is 16 and oldest is 24 and married—the teaching never stops

  33. Delores Liesner says

    September 5, 2013 at 4:29 pm

    We agreed to look at situations from the outside and find the humor in
    it. We laugh a lot. We also agreed that although we would never
    willingly hurt the other, we know we are human and it will happen. When
    it does we ask the other to forget it ever happened. That is to us the meaning of forgiveness and justification (love keeps no record of wrongs)…it goes on treating you just as though the cruel gaffe never happened.

  34. KristinHillTaylor says

    September 5, 2013 at 5:03 pm

    I love this. That quote from Gary Thomas is fabulous and I love how you shared what makes you and your husband who you are together. I think one of the challenges is being set apart from the world and protecting marriage/family from a culture that doesn’t value them while still serving this world.

  35. Jessica Davis says

    September 5, 2013 at 5:17 pm

    The biggest struggle I have is my own sinful nature. Pride, irritation, lack of self-control/laziness, etc. Also I think it’s so, SO hard to try to lead children to Jesus when they’re bombarded with everything “self” outside of our home. However, we aren’t doing our children any favors by sheltering them from everything completely because they all eventually grow up.

  36. Samantha Gluck says

    September 5, 2013 at 5:45 pm

    I love this! I’m “sharing” this wonderful post all over. I love these tips. It’s great to get reminded about mindfully taking steps to truly share in the important things in life amidst all the hub-bub of our digital lives. Thank you for this sweet guide about sharing.

  37. Sandra Hingst says

    September 5, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    My problem is lack of patience…

  38. Amanda@EmbracingGrace says

    September 5, 2013 at 6:26 pm

    I love “doing life” with my man!

  39. Jenny w says

    September 5, 2013 at 6:31 pm

    What a blessing your site is!

  40. Ashley Hunt says

    September 5, 2013 at 7:04 pm

    I struggle with difference in opinion with my spouse. Hard to lead like Jesus when your spouse doesn’t believe.

  41. Kathi Whittamore says

    September 5, 2013 at 7:19 pm

    the biggest challenge is that our children are adults and it’s hard to be an example when we’re not around each other as much as when they were little and lived with us.

  42. Amy Talbott says

    September 5, 2013 at 7:27 pm

    This is a great reminder. And praying with my husband has become precious to me.

  43. Tammy D says

    September 5, 2013 at 7:43 pm

    Staying committed is hard!!

  44. Sarah Shore Leonard says

    September 5, 2013 at 8:43 pm

    Being patient, offering grace, being an example even when I am worn out . .. are just a few areas of challenge for me.

  45. Momma Mackey says

    September 5, 2013 at 9:35 pm

    Hardest thing is to do it every day, for me its being consistent with my relationship with Jesus.

  46. l. justus says

    September 5, 2013 at 9:39 pm

    Thank you for these great reminders on how to be intentional in our marriage !

  47. wrenhal2010 says

    September 5, 2013 at 10:51 pm

    This is great. I think I’m going to love this blog and I really need to work with these with my wife.

  48. Lisa White says

    September 5, 2013 at 11:05 pm

    The biggest challenge is having the foresight and follow-through to be intentionally counter-cultural. Reminding ourselves we are in this world but not of it; just passing through!

  49. Teresa Dehaas Smith says

    September 6, 2013 at 12:23 am

    This is great! My husband and i should work on our ‘what we’re about’ statement.

  50. Amanda Lewis says

    September 6, 2013 at 1:07 am

    My biggest challenges are lack of patience, consistently disciplining, pride, self-control, and things of this world.

  51. cokabo says

    September 6, 2013 at 1:14 am

    My biggest challenge is being patient!

  52. Emily Allison says

    September 6, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    Love this!

  53. Krista Ritskes says

    September 6, 2013 at 1:13 pm

    I sometimes struggle to keep calm and controlled when my kids get me so frustrated! It’s so much easier to allow my anger to show itself, but it’s not what I want for my kids.

  54. Amy says

    September 6, 2013 at 1:17 pm

    My biggest challenge is being patient also! And having guilt for being a working mom.

  55. Steph says

    September 6, 2013 at 1:45 pm

    Thank you for this.. We don’t have a “mission statement” and I think we definitely need to be thinking about what ours is!

  56. Melanie says

    September 6, 2013 at 3:00 pm

    My biggest challenge is more grace and fun with our kids. I tend to be more strict and not as patient or gracious with them. Jesus captivated people’s hearts by his thought provoking questions and stories and his compassion. My husband has more grace with our kids than I do. We want to reach our kids’ hearts and help nurture our family to have a passionate relationship with God in our home.

  57. CindyVanderpol says

    September 6, 2013 at 6:25 pm

    Myself, my weaknesses, seeing them in the children. I pray daily for more patience, and kindness.

  58. Mallory Jacques says

    September 6, 2013 at 7:47 pm

    This is such a good post. I am not married yet but I will be someday and this has already given me a lot to think about 🙂

  59. Crystal Manteuffel says

    September 6, 2013 at 10:14 pm

    Learning to respect my husband at ALL times has been my biggest challenge. Once I get this down more consistently I know I will be leading my family like Jesus leads the church.

  60. katie says

    September 6, 2013 at 10:48 pm

    Fighting my selfish nature and modeling what Christ tells us to.

  61. Jennifer Flanders says

    September 7, 2013 at 9:53 am

    Great post, Tricia. I knew the first day I met my husband, too, that he was somebody I wanted to spend my life with. We’ve been sharing all seven of the things you list for over 26 years now, and it just gets better and better! Thanks for sharing your wisdom and encouragement. I love this new site!

  62. Jeanine says

    September 7, 2013 at 11:10 am

    My biggest challenge is the teenage years. We have one teen now and boy is he different from our littles!

  63. Jodi says

    September 8, 2013 at 5:50 pm

    The biggest challenge for me is to keep my eye on the prize and not let the worldly influences change my views about the important issues in my life.

  64. Gigi says

    September 9, 2013 at 11:40 am

    You’d think that being a single mom of 6 would make it hard, but it was harder when I was married to a pretend Christian.

  65. Heather says

    September 9, 2013 at 11:41 am

    having the energy to discipline consistently

  66. Cassie Jentner says

    September 9, 2013 at 5:28 pm

    My biggest challenge is being a hypocrite and doing what I disciplined them for. But asking forgiveness in front of my kids is a huge lesson to them too!

  67. The Johns Family says

    September 9, 2013 at 6:29 pm

    To raise our kids to be “in” the world but not “of” the world without making them jaded to the gospel message and Bible.

  68. Kelli says

    September 11, 2013 at 5:02 pm

    By enjoying our time as a couple with no children, we get to go and do things that others don’t and we cherish that.

Hey there! Thanks so much for stopping by our blog. We are absolutely thrilled you are here! We are a crazy church planting couple who loves Jesus, our four kids and loads of coffee! We are giving God the glory every step of the way and love sharing our journey with you.

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