At the beginning of the year, my husband and I were asked to speak for my mother’s group on the topic of marriage. During our talk, I shared some stories on how our kids have impacted our relationship and how I struggle at times with anger and control in raising our four young children. Sharing the more raw details of life can be a scary risk that involves vulnerability but I always figure that if it can help someone else, being authentic is worth it.
Well after our talk, one of my mom friends who I respected and was a “super mom” in my eyes, came up to me and said how much she related to what I had to say.
“Really?” I asked her.
“Yes, it’s as if you were talking straight to me,” she said. “I struggle all the time with anger. I yell a lot. And I’m so angry in my home.”
I was shocked by her words. From what I observed, she was a happy mom who always loved her kids, taught them well, and couldn’t have many struggles. But I was wrong. I had compared my life to hers without really knowing the behind-the-scenes picture. She was like me and had similar struggles raising multiple children.
We talked some more and encouraged one another. She thanked me for being honest.
That experience made me realize that there is no such thing as a super mom, no matter if you have 19 kids or 1. I have to admit that I thought there was and still wonder at times if some of my friends have special “supernatural momma abilities” that I just don’t possess.
But no matter if all seems well on the outside, we’re still human with limitations, imperfections, and shortcomings. We grow tired, impatient, cranky, and we desperately desire time to ourselves to escape the chaos of disciplining defiant behavior, managing our household, and much more. Sometimes the emotional side of motherhood can be so overwhelming that we’re stuck in a deep pit we can’t seem to escape. I know the feeling.
Again, we’re only human.
There is, however, such thing as a strong God, who is mighty, perfect, all-powerful, does not grow weary, and is fully capable of helping us in our time of need. He knows how we’re shaped, what discourages us, where we struggle, and who we are. When we begin to lean into just how strong our God is for us, we will:
1. Get back up and rely on His grace when we fail miserably.
Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. (Prov. 3:5-6, MSG)
2. Confess our struggles and sins to one another so that we may be healed.
Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed. (James 5:16, MSG)
3. Trust in the promise that when we can’t go any further, He is our strength.
My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. (2 Cor 12:10, MSG)
4. Understand that suffering is not foreign to Jesus.
Jesus understands every weakness of ours, because he was tempted in every way that we are. But he did not sin! So whenever we are in need, we should come bravely before the throne of our merciful God. (Hebrews 4:15-16 CEV)
5. Believe God has good plans for us and our children.
I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. (Jeremiah 29:11, MSG)
6. Rely less on our feelings and emotions and more on the truth of God’s Word.
For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us. (2 Cor 1:20, NKJV)
7. Accept that He has forgiven us and remembers our sin no more.
As far as the eastern horizon is from the west, so he removes the guilt of our rebellious actions from us. (Ps. 103:12, NET)
8. Rest in His presence and follow His lead as we care for and love our children.
He will feed His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs with His arm, And carry them in His bosom, And gently lead those who are with young. (Is. 40:11, NKJV)
Remember that in your greatest moments of shame, anger, outbursts, wrestling with control, and fights with your flesh, you have a strong God who will fight for you and loves you deeply.
Because he is your Strong God, you are a Strong Mom.