I have been confronted with an issue in my marriage. I never realized just how extensive this issue was until my husband mentioned it to me. Once my eyes were opened, I saw things a bit more clearly.
I blame others.
I blame my husband.
I blame God.
For some reason I struggle to assume responsibility, whether my husband and I are arguing about something in marriage or our son puts something non-edible in his mouth… my immediate response is to blame someone else, usually my husband. It is almost as if I have trained my brain to believe I am never at fault for anything. And it has gotten worse. Now I catch myself blaming even when there is no real issue, where there doesn’t need to be blame, yet I reason with myself to cast it anyways. This hurts my husband.
Sometimes I get caught up in discontentment and thinking about the choices my husband and I have made together. The not so pleasant experiences come with some regret and a lot of blame. In those moments my heart stirs with bitterness as I blame my husband and God for putting me through such messes! I cannot even believe I am saying this! It doesn’t happen all the time, but when I allow my heart to cast blame on others, it affects my faith and my marriage in damaging ways.
When I catch myself doing it or when I am confronted by the issue of blaming I think back to Eve in the Garden of Eden. She was also quick to blame.
We are prone to sin. Our nature is vulnerable to its deception. If we do not guard our hearts, the seed of sin will plant and take root! So what do we need to do…what do I need to do?
Stop playing the blame game!
I need to be diligent at weeding out sin and every spec of deception that tries to enter my heart. I need to be on guard. I need to be humble and acknowledge the truth God, my husband and myself are one. I need combat discontentment and regret with thankfulness, which means that I need to be thankful even for the messes and challenging seasons. I need to take responsibility, even if I am not at fault.
I want to be a wife of noble character, a wife that is confident and joyful, a wife who is thankful and can love without blame resting in my heart or on my fingertip.
Thank you for confronting this issue of blaming. I have struggled with it for a long time now. May your Holy Spirit transform me and help me to stop blaming others. I am sorry for blaming you when things do not happen according to my plan. I pray that I can be more responsible and loving in Jesus’ name AMEN!
Jennifer, Unveiled Wife