One Of The Greatest Threats To My Marriage


Marriage is a covenant, a commitment of love and respect. Even the strongest of relationships are vulnerable to daily conflict. Some of the worst conflicts in marriage happen when you are not actively seeking God. Then I become one of the greatest threats to my marriage.

Marriage is a fragile covenant, a commitment of love and respect.  Even the strongest of marital relationships are vulnerable to daily conflict.  In my experience as a wife, I have come to realize that one of the greatest threats to my marriage is…Me!

I love my husband and I am diligent at telling him just that every single day.  Yet, even with all the love I have for my husband there are times that I react very selfishly in our relationship.

I am not perfect and I am reminded of this time and time again. I am daily faced with a battle between my spirit, desiring to live God’s Holy way, and my flesh, desiring to live my way.  One way looks to the good of others, seeking peace through humility, while the other is self-focused only interested in what will benefit…Me!

I believe God’s ways are not only beautiful, but extremely beneficial.  As I strive to live God’s ways I experience an incredible relationship with my husband.  To do so requires intentionality, time spent seeking more and more of God, reading His Word, and practicing self-control.

Over the years I have noticed that some of the most lethal of conflicts occur in my marriage when I am not actively seeking after God. After several days of not reading the Bible or fervently praying, my attitude becomes sour and my heart is self-focused.

And I become one of the greatest threats to my marriage.

I become easily irritated with my husband, I talk rudely to him to get a point across, I keep track of his wrongs, yet I am unforgiving, I sometimes get jealous of where he spends his time, I lose hope in our relationship and I lack the faith needed to get through as a team…this is NOT love!

When I realize that I am acting in selfishness in my marriage I can almost always attribute it to a lack of intentional intimacy with God.  Trying to live without God is miserable, not just for me, but for my husband as well.  The threat of trying to maintain a loveless marriage corrodes both of us from the inside out.

The key to change: Spend quality time with God through reading His Word and prayer.

I am imperfect and when I attempt to do things my way, my imperfections take the lead causing more strife than one can bear.

When I trust God and allow Him to lead, His grace is sufficient for me and true love thrives.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9

If you are experiencing conflict in your marriage, take a moment to evaluate and examine your heart to see if you are the threat. Spend some intentional time with God today and watch as He protects your marriage for you!


Jen, Unveiled Wife

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  1. Beautiful and very true. I realize this myself all the time… when conflicts arise it is most def on the subject of us both being selfish and missing the submission to God and the thriving effort to love. Amen to this and thk u for being so bold and couragous enough to speak this out! Most would never admitt to this.

  2. So well written and relational to almost every Christian marriage. I have been a threat to my marriage one time too many times. The key is to Fixate our eyes on God at all times…especially when we don’t feel like it. In doing so, no matter what the situation is in our marriages, we will have the power to handle it in love…the way God wants us to handle it. Thank you for sharing this with us. Love your blog!

  3. I firmly believe everything you have said is the greatest tips a wife can follow for a peaceful and happy marital relationship.

  4. Very wise words indeed. Thank you for sharing!
    May I also suggest that you and your husband should strive to have a time set aside every day when you pray together.

  5. Thank you so much for this. It’s exactly what I needed to hear as I tend to try and rely on my own strength when in conflict with my husband. It’s so easy to forget that the ruler of everything is in control of every situation we face.
    Great post!

  6. This is beautiful an a great eye opener for me.. As I try to be a great wife it’s hard because I want him to see so much in me as a mom an wife an to know that.. But clearly he does because he made me his wife.. Thanks so much for your words.

  7. Great information. I see that in myself as well. It has become more difficult as my husband’s personal relationship with Christ is fading away. I need to pray harder for him to draw closer and myself to be understanding. But, I’m losing my desire to be married to him. We are approaching 30 years of marriage and I’m done.

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