God said that a man should leave his father and his mother in order to hold fast to his wife. And He said that the man’s holding fast to his wife should be done so tightly and permanently and continuously that the two become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).
In theory, this is a lovely picture, but what happens to this imagery when couples face hard questions in their marriages? Questions like these:
- Our sex life is nothing like we imagined. What went wrong? Why isn’t God blessing us in this area? What happens when one spouse turns to pornography for fulfillment?
- We love our kids, but what should we do when we have differences of opinion about parenting strategies or disciplining styles? What attitudes are helpful — and hurtful — to achieving a parenting common ground?
- Why are discussions about money so difficult? How can we ensure that money is more of a helpful tool in our marriage (as opposed to a destructive tornado)?
- What should we do when God lays the idea of adoption on our hearts?
- How should wives handle friendships with other men? How should husbands handle friendships with other women?
In light of these questions (and so many more), anyone who has been married longer than a month knows how absurdly difficult and downright harrowing it can be for a man and a woman to become “one flesh.”
Of course, God knew this. He knew how we’d struggle to lay “the self” down for “the spouse.” But even so, God — in all His wisdom — decreed that the married man and woman should become “one person” (TLB).
The problem is this: some husbands and wives pledge “I do,” but when it comes to growing together as “one flesh” they live an “I won’t” lifestyle even when living under the same roof and in the same bed.
Two very different people becoming “one person” is not easy! But for all of the stretching and straining, sacrificing and surrendering, matrimony made holy is possible only with the constant help of our ever-present God who honors our efforts in this area.
Which is why we’re so excited to share with you a new series entitled He Said/She Said where we’ll get to peek at one topic from two points of view: both the husband’s perspective and the wife’s. Join us every Wednesday and Thursday from Sept. 2nd through Oct. 2nd at For the Family for this fun marriage series!
You’ll get to hear from some of our gifted writers and their spouses who have been married long enough to know how hard marriage can be, but who have also learned a thing or two about growing together, rather than apart, on the journey.
May your marriage journey be blessed through this series!
Blessings,
Rhonda
Becoming one in flesh is a wonderful thing that God created. But, it is just as important to be one together in heart and mind, also. It is important to keep romance in your marriage. It is equally important to give equal time to nurturing each other’s goals and aspirations in life. There needs to be a balance in all areas of a relationship for it to mature.