Perhaps the greatest gift a father can give his daughter, outside of leading her to salvation, is to imprint the image of a Godly man on her heart.
One day we will be walking our daughter down the aisle, and the choice she made for a husband will likely hinge more on OUR actions than hers.
For nearly 20 years, we will have the greatest influence on our daughter’s understanding of how a man should treat his wife in a manner consistent with God’s plan.
How else will our daughter know the type of love she deserves from her future husband if we do not demonstrate the self-sacrificial love that we have been called to show our own wives? (Ephesians 5:25)
Where will our daughter see a husband who honors his wife and lives to understand her needs according to God’s will if it’s not being modeled in her own home? (1 Peter 3:7)
If we simply begin to give advice once she starts dating, we are too late. We have missed the opportunity to inscribe on her heart all the qualities we desire to see in her future husband. From the time she is born we must instill a hunger in her to search for a man after God’s own heart.
Perhaps in this fight for our daughters’ hearts, we should embrace the old sports adage that the best defense is a good offense.
We should go on offense now and show our daughters, through our actions, the type of man we desire for them. If we punt on this issue, then we will be forced to play defense – telling our daughters each time they bring home a date that the boys they choose just aren’t good enough for her.
Though not exclusive by any means, here are three ways we can be Godly husbands in front of our daughters:
Time
Spend time with our wives. Choose our wives over the TV in the evening. Choose to date our wives over spending another evening at our buddy’s house playing cards.
Touch
Be affectionate with our wives. Choose to cuddle with our wives on the couch over (not so) discreetly checking for sports updates on our phones during family movie night.
Thanksgiving
Pray for our wives. Choose to specifically give thanks for our wives over a rote prayer at the dinner table.
Of course there are MANY more things as husbands we could and SHOULD do to demonstrate how a Godly husband should live out his calling in the family. But if we can choose time, touch, and thanksgiving as three core principles in our marriages, we’re off to a good start.
As fathers, we all want our daughters to choose wisely when it comes to their spouses. We have undoubtedly seen through friends, family, or acquaintances the result of poor spousal choices. But we don’t have to be relegated to the sidelines. Get in the game. There’s nothing less than our daughters’ futures at stake.
Blessings,
Mitchell Owens
So, so true! What a daughter sees in her dad is what she perceives a husband “should be.” I want my daughter to marry a strong Christian gentleman who treats her like a lady, so I must treat my wife the same way. How else will my daughter learn? Thank you for this post.
Thank you, Adam. Our roles as fathers and husbands are so often intertwined.