Three Pillars of Parenting {giveaway}
Families determine the future, making parenting one of the most critical tasks on earth. Yet unfortunately today, as we have seen, Satan has done a great job of dismantling the family. He has been after the family since the beginning of time: He never bothered Adam until after Adam got married. Satan wasn’t just after a man; he was after the future. That’s why Satan wants your child, or your children, because he wants to control tomorrow.
But God has instructed us in His Word concerning three pillars of parenting which—if followed—can stabilize and protect your home, as well as future generations, from the attacks of the enemy. According to Ephesians 6:4, the three pillars to raising kingdom kids are encouraging, disciplining and instructing your children.
Ephesians 6:4 reads “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Keep in mind the onus of raising kingdom kids is on the parents. It is on you and me. It is not on the government or even on our schools.
Encouragement
It is the responsibility of the parents to raise their children well, and one of the first ways of doing this is by not exasperating them. Basically what that means is that parents are not to provoke, or create irritation, anger and frustration in the life of their child. We can easily turn this verse around another way and say that rather than discouraging, parents are to encourage their children.
Scripture tells us, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue,” (Proverbs 18:21). Parents who discourage their children speak failure and curses into their future. As parents, we are called to give encouragement.
Now, let me quickly distinguish between encouragement and praise. Parents praise their children a lot, but encouragement is different. Praise is tied to what a person did, or accomplished. It means that this child did something you want to acknowledge.
Don’t get me wrong, praise is good. But children also, and even more so, need encouragement. Encouragement is not tied to what they did; it is tied to who they are. It is tied to their identity in Christ and their inheritance as an image-bearer of God Himself; it is tied to their position as children of the King.
Parents, let your words reach deep into your child’s heart with encouraging truths that build their confidence in the fact that you know their personality, dreams, hopes, struggles and that it will all turn out okay because of who they are and to Whom they belong. Give them the hope that they need to face each day.
Discipline
Discipline comes in a variety of different formats, and — depending on the personalities of your children (if you have more than one) — what works for one may not work for the other. For some children, their greatest discipline might include being sent to their room alone. For another child, though, that could be a reward. This is why it is so critical to understand and know your children in such a way that you raise them according to their personality and needs.
Discipline is not yelling at your child, that’s venting. It must be coupled with love or your child will not see it for the good you hope to gain through it. Rather you will wind up provoking them to anger with your own. Discipline flows out of a heart of compassion for their well-being and future. Just like we read in Hebrews concerning God, “For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines,” (Hebrews 12:6).
Instruction
Our third pillar of parenting is a joint venture. Instructing children involves both you and God. Simply instructing your child without including the truths and principles of God’s Word may give them information, but it won’t give them wisdom to make right choices in their lives.
By being with your children on a regular basis during normal, everyday life activities, you can capitalize on the teachable moments that present opportunities for you to mentor your child in the faith.
Something as simple as looking at the night sky together can easily lead to a discussion about the creation and how God knows every star and every hair on our heads. Playing games together can open up topics on the importance of integrity, communication and focus. Watching a television show or movie together provides a natural conversation starter for an analysis of the character’s motives, choices and actions.
Raising kingdom kids is not a task for the weary or lazy. It is a full-time responsibility. But it also brings with it an eternity of rewards. It is an investment with great returns.
Blessings,
Tony
Dr. Tony Evans
Dr. Tony Evans is one of the country’s most respected leaders in evangelical circles. As a pastor, teacher, author and speaker, he serves the body of Christ through his unique ability to communicate complex theological truths through simple, yet profound, illustrations. While addressing the practical issues of today, Dr. Evans is known as a relevant expositor. New and veteran pastors alike regard him as a pastor of pastors and a father in the faith. For more information, visit TonyEvans.org and RaisingKingdomKids.org.
Today we are thrilled to give away three copies of Dr. Tony Evans’ new book Raising Kingdom Kids!
“Raising Kingdom Kids” is a book for every dad or mom who wants to fulfill the parenting role God has given them—not just in raising healthy kids intellectually, physically, and socially, but in contributing to their child’s relationship with God and alignment under His plan. Discover more about the new book Raising Kingdom Kids at RaisingKingdomKids.org. Enter to win your copy below!!!
I would like to win this book because I have always struggled with parenting properly and disciplining without feeling guilty. Also, I think I am letting my kids down in teaching them how to have a relationship with God. thx
I’d like to win this book for my married children who, I hope, will read it for my grandchildrens’ sakes!
Oh I so need this book! I just said to my husband the other day that I just don’t know how to parent in this manner! I know what the Bible says but when it gets down to the nitty gritty, I always falter and turn back to what I know.
I would like to win this book to better lead my five kids and to help the families I minister too.
My hearts desire to raise kingdom kids!
I want to win to be a blessing to some parents who have and are raising children in the ways of the Lord.
I’d like to win this to read for my family.
I would like to win this book to help me raise my 2 year old son, and the next one that’s on the way!
I have a three and one year old and I have been struggling. It would be wonderful to have some helpful guidance.
We would love to have some encouragement raising Kingdom Kids!
Very insightful and practical, thank you for sharing.
WE came to Christ late in life. Our children were already in their preteens. It was very hard raisin them in Christ and feel it backfired on us. Now we have two young children and I have no idea where to start or how to make sure we are doing this right this time. Would love this book!
I love the explanation of the difference between encouragement and praise… To help kids find their identity in Christ!!!!
Because I have three young ones and I am doing my best, but would love any advice and wisdom!
I’d like to win a copy because parenting can be challenging. I am homeschooling young children which can lead to lots of testing and lots of stumbling on my part. I would like to hear more encouraging ways to raise our children.
I would love to read this book with my husband. We have 2 great little boys so far, and want to raise them to be godly men.
Great blog post. As a mom of many this really hit home. We miss the difference between praise and encouragement a lot
Have very strong wilked 3 & 4 year old boys and I grapple with discipline and other problems daily, this would be a nice resource for sure!
This looks like a great book with so wonderful advise and encouragement.
I would love to have ideas and encouragement in raising our 5 kiddos in a world where being like everyone else is commonplace. We want children who stand strong in their own faith in Jesus Christ.
I really enjoyed this post and think his book would have a lot of wisdom and insight into “kingdomly” raising children.
I’m a mother with two kids,we live in South Africa. My husband and I are struggling to discipline our kids,five and three years old. we feel like failures! this book could really help us!
Would love to have this book … Tony Evens is a great speaker and author. I’ve heard interviews with him about this book. It sounds excellent.
Any help or advise that I could get to raise my children for God’s Kingdom would be such a blessing to me. It is so hard to raise children for God with everything against us. Amen!
this looks amazing!
I thoroughly love to hear anything from Tony Evans what a great man of God.
Mother of 4 boys raising to be “Kingdom Kids”.
I would definitely love this book.
I would love to have this book because even though I have tet to have a family of my own, I want to be knowledgeable about how to raise my children the way God intended it to be. I also want to help other children to grow up with these foundation in the school that God has put in my heart to open
Looking forward to this book and my journey to raising Kingdom Kids
Dr Evans
God has entrusted the life of a beautiful young girl now 13 into my hands.
The first four years of her life she lived on the streets, with her mom who has since passed. I have been raising her since age 4. I thank God for any tool that I can use to build the best into her. I pray that your book would be the tool to empower me to do so.
May God continue to enlarge your territory. May you continue to be a blessing to me and many more across the globe
Blessings
Gillian
Cape Town, South africa
I so appreciate Tony Evans and would like to share his wisdom with my son who is bringing up my grandson.
I have a two year old and would love to have this book!
I want towin this for my daughter. She is due w first child my first grand child(yee-haw) in DEC. I want her to know how to raise her daughter better than was able to raise her. Now that I’m a daughter of God I realize what we missed. I don’t want her and baby Haley to miss out. What a blessing this will be. My daughter was at the hospital about to have a procedure that would not enable her to conceive after this was done due to what was thought to be cancer. Instead we found out she was pregnant. She had been told by many drs she would most likely never be able to conceive. What a miracle about to happen. We lost her daddy last year to cancer . Praise be to God.
I would love a copy of Kingdom Kids as I’m the step – mom to a 17 year old daughter, mom to a 6 year old boy and expecting my 2nd child in April!
I would love to win this to use as a tool I’m raising our 4 princes and 1 princess for God
I am re-equipping my “toolbox”. Raising 3 boys, 2 of which are teenagers and then an 8 year old. I brought a lot of poor parenting techniques from my childhood. I know my mom did the best she could with her “tools”, but if this book can help me become better…then my kids can be better. It’s a legacy redo.
Would love to win it!
I would like to win this book because my husband and I are a kingdom parents and are raising our children with the mind-set of the kingdom. It can be difficult at times when our parenting techniques are opposite of the way we were raised, so it would be great to have a guide. Ultimately, we will share the teachings with our church and other parents.
Wow! This spoke to my heart! I struggle with feeling like I’m failing at parenting, often. With two young children and a 3rd due any day, I would love to win a copy of this book to read with my husband!
I’m optimistic!!!!
Looks like a great book!
Today, more than ever our children need a sure foundation in Christ. This is a tool that every Christian needs to use!
I grew up with many issues including been molested by my dad’s cousin at the age of 8. I also had resentment against my dad. God took me on a journey of forgiveness. Now I’m married and expecting my first daughter. I would LOVE to win a copy because I want my daughter to be raised differently and this book can be a tool to help me accomplish my dream, to see her serving the Lord always. Nothing can be compared with the bible but please consider me. Thank you and God bless!
To be able to guide some of the younger people in my community and church .
Dr Evans you always have such great insight! I’d love to win this and use it as a children’s worker to help other families and myself! Thanks for the opportunity and for giving some of these copies away to someone! God bless you!
You certainly capture peoples imagination with your wonderfully captivating leading!!
My husband and I are struggling in this area. We would love a copy of this book. It would bless our family beyond measure.
i wasn’t raised in a Christian home, so the parental influences in my life aren’t necessarily correct. I’d like to learn from a solid dad/pastor/Biblical example before I have kids.
I so need this and I have no idea why I didnt purchase it a couple weeks ago at Tony Evans’ event in Chicago. I have read Kingdom Woman. Awesome
I would love this book because I would like to raise my sons according to God’s will, I wasn’t raised in a christian home, my parents never had God centered in their marriage and I don’t want to raise my children that way specially since I have received Jesus as my personal savior and I’m getting to know him.
Wonderful opportunity!
Would love to win this book for my family but also to share with the families I work with.
I have been wanting to purchase this study material to share with my children for my grand daughters! This would be a blessing to be able to guide them through the word of God and instill leadership in their lives!
I would love your book. There is so much I’m learning on parenting.
I’m in the middle of another one of Tony’s books, Kingdom Men, and I think this would be a great compliment to it. Thank you for the opportunity!
Would love to win and read this book!
I want to win this book because I have learned some fabulous things from bro. Tony. I desire to raise my kids to the glory of God and I know this book will help me to do that.
I love Tony Evans, so I’d love to read this book.