Son…Start Saving for the Wedding Ring Now

When is the best time to invest in your marriage? How about way before it even starts? Teaching our children to invest now, in finances and in prayer, into the most important relationship of their lives will not only bless their future spouse, but their own hearts.

 A friend of mine started saving for his wife’s wedding ring from the time he was in his mid-teens. He didn’t save much, of course. Sometimes he’d put just five or ten dollars in a jar. That isn’t enough to clean most wedding rings, much less purchase a high-quality diamond, but the amount wasn’t really the point. Every time he put money in the jar, he prayed for his future wife.

“Lord, keep her heart pure.”

“Lord, help her draw near to you today.”

“Lord, help me become the kind of man she’ll want to marry.”

And what do you think it meant to his future wife when she found out he had been saving for her ring and praying for her before he even knew her?

That’s right.

She felt like the luckiest women in the world.

Now that one of my children (a son) is married, one is seriously dating and the other is seriously single, I’m becoming more aware of how it feels to prepare and release your children into their own marriages. And I believe encouraging your son (and daughters—more on that at the end) to start saving up for their future spouse’s wedding ring is a great tool to get our boys thinking in the right direction.

One of the many things I like about this practice is that it encourages young men to begin thinking about marriage now, to start praying for their wives even before they know who their wives are, and to literally start caring for their wives even before they meet them.

I love this. Plus, by thinking of women as future wives, it will impact the way they think about their girlfriends—that they’re not people to be used and discarded, but to be respected and cherished.

It’s not about the amount a boy saves as much as it’s about the intent, and the prayer, and the thoughtfulness. They’re starting to save—a good, responsible, thing to do. They’re setting a pattern of looking at a woman as someone they want to prepare for and care for and pray for, not use, hurt, or abuse. Perhaps your son may even be denying himself a little treat in order to have something left over to put in that jar (or bank account). Even better!

I think this is appropriate from the early teens, depending on the child. But it’s about far more than money. The financial cost of the wedding ring is simply a tool to prepare your son’s heart and mind, bending it toward marriage, toward responsibility, toward a God honoring life.

I know parents will want to ask me, “Can’t we do the same thing for our daughters, and encourage them to save up for their husband’s ring?”

Sure. It’s just that my wedding ring cost Lisa less than a hundred bucks. You can start saving two weeks before the wedding and come up with that, but maybe guys’ rings cost more now. The principle would still apply—saving a little, praying for their future spouse, and reminding themselves that the young years aren’t about dating to pass the time, but about finding an excellent husband or wife.


Gary Thomas

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  1. I think this article has some great points but I am concerned with the fact that it assumes marriage will happen. Marriage is not a requirement for a fulfilling life with God. Some would say it can make your walk more challenging. I also don’t like the pressure it puts on our children. I want my children to be strong individuals who are in the will of God. If His will is for them to be married then that is wonderful but I don’t want my children to ever think they will be deficient in any way if it is not his will. If His will is for them to be single then that is wonderful too. We need to stop putting tradition first and God’s will second.

  2. I was crying while I’m reading this writing in line with the flashbacks from the memories that I had experienced from my past relationship. I’m thinking what ifs.
    What if my past boyfriend have grown up with that kind of practice? Will I have this failed relationship?

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