Am I Messing Up My Kids?

Being a parent can bring all the fears and questions of whether we’re messing them up.

The most common hope most parents have for their kids is for their children to be healthy and happy. Because of that hope and desire for our kids, it is not uncommon for parents to question if we are doing this parenting thing right or if we are messing up our kids.

Parenting is the hardest job I’ve ever had the privilege to do. If any of us end up sane at the end of our 18 years together, it will be a miracle.

I’d like to think I’m a good parent. I’d like to think that the way I’m raising them and teaching them and speaking to them is going to make them amazing little people that grow up to be amazing adults. But I question that every single day. Even multiple times a day!

Am I being too critical?

Am I too harsh?

Should I have said yes? Should I have put my foot down?

Am I trying to take care of my kid’s struggles on my own so they don’t feel the hurt or am I truly allowing them to work through it (with my guidance and support) so they can learn to handle problems and disappointments on their own later?

Am I teaching them fairness?

Am I really reaching their hearts?

Overall, what I’m really questioning is… am I messing up my kids?

The Fear and Overwhelming Feeling of Messing Up Our Kids

Even before my oldest child was born the fear of not being a good parent was also born. I doubted myself. I doubted my abilities, my strength, my patience.

As if that’s not enough fear, somehow society (even friends and family) contributed their opinions on parenting. And living up to the pressures of what a “good mom” or a “good parent” looks like is completely overwhelming!

So how do you make sure you aren’t messing up your kids?

The answer is simple.

Love them.

Love your kids with the same love that Christ shows you every single day.

Listen to your kids. Play with them. Do things they enjoy. Be present with them.

Love them as much as you can and when you make mistakes, which you will, own your mistakes. Apologize when necessary. Ask forgiveness and try again.

Mistakes are going to happen. It is inevitable. But remember that even making mistakes can be some of the most positive parts of your parenting journey for both you and your child.

Feeling as though you are messing up this parenting thing is natural. And it’s absolutely okay. It proves just how deep your love is for them. It shows that you want them to have the very best and that you want to be the very best for them.

No one is perfect, my friend. But God chose you over everyone else as the perfect parent for your child.

Trust him that He chose well.

Have faith knowing that as much as you love your kids, God loves them even more and he is co-partnering with you to raise these incredible little humans.

Lean into him for strength and guidance, and ask him to fill you with the joy of parenting your children.

Friend, you’re not messing your kids up. You’re showing them humanness and the power of love and grace. And that is exactly what God has called you to do!

Alisha Carlson

Moms, do you ever just want mom-life to be easier? Alisha helps moms simplify their lives and homes! Out with overwhelm, in with ease! Visit MsAlishaCarlson.com for ways to stop living in survival mode and start living out your God-given passions adventurously! Also, check out Alisha’s podcast, Real Mom Talk, a show that brings a little sanity, help, and humor to the insanity we feel as a mom!

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