10 Simple Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him

Sometimes I feel like our life story is mimicing some chapters straight out of the book of Job.  Seasons of long-suffering and tremendous trials have definitely taken a toll in our marriage.  Life is hard.

Life as a Christian can be even harder because we’re a threat to the Enemy.  There’s a target on our back and Satan is looking to destroy us and our marriage.  But I’ve chosen to fight back hard knowing that I have the power of the Living God within me.

But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.  1 John 4:4 NLT

10 Simple Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him


Regardless of what my husband and I face in this life, I will chose to show him love no matter what comes our way.


10 Simple Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him

1.  Speak words of life into the heart of his soul.

Encouragement goes a long way in marriage, especially when life gets trying. Let your husband know you’re proud of him and you think highly of him.  Commend his efforts in his role as provider, husband, and father.  Every person I know needs to hear words of encouragement and affirmation.  Be the person in your husband’s life who does this for him.


2.  Tell him you’re honored to be his wife.

Tell him that you’d say ‘yes’ to him all over again!  This is a fine habit to make in your marriage and it’s never too late to start.


3.  Tell him you need him.

My husband is a huge help to me when it comes to computers and technology (and a host of other things).  When I let him know I need his help because I can’t figure something out, he feels like Superman.  Everyone likes to feel needed.


4.  Let him know he’s a wonderful lover.

I’ll let you fill in the blanks on this one.


5.  Hug and kiss him passionately on a regular basis.

Even though I’ve been married for almost 17 years this doesn’t mean I can’t act like I’m a newlywed!


6.  Let him know you believe in him.

Is there a Goliath in his life?  A big trial he’s trying to conquer? Be his biggest cheerleader.


7.  Go the extra mile for him.

Fix him his favorite meal on just any old day of the week.  Personally, I’m not the greatest cook in the world and sometimes my meals don’t turn out too well, so I always have a backup plan- his favorite dessert!  This shows him he’s worth my time and effort.


8.  Ask him how you can pray for him.

As Believers, we’re living in a spiritual battle.  I’ve made it my aim to battle life with him as his ally rather than act like his enemy.  Praying for him let’s your guy know you’re in his corner.


9.  Let him know you’re sweet on him.

On occassion, bring home his favorite candy bar, coffee drink, or dessert.  Go one step further and send him a flirty text message or leave him a love note.


10. Thank him.

Having a heart of gratitude toward your man can do wonders for him.  Many times a husband could easily feel so unappreciated.  I do my best to thank my husband whenever he takes me to dinner, or fills my car up with gas, or moves the furniture around in the house!  Want to show him even more love?  Kiss him after you’ve thanked him!

Not only will these simple ways show your husband you love him but they’ll also strengthen your marriage!

Live a poured out life for Christ,
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  1. I understand this post and completely agree. My husband and I have been married for 17 years, together for 18 and have 8 children. (5 are 6 and younger) so we are in a busy season of life. I homeschool, he provides for all of us. I love him with every fiber of my being….I work very hard on our relationship. Read books, articles, pray…..my issue is how long can one person keep working on he relationship, keeping the romance alive, planning all dates, most are at home dates with so many kids. Any trip i plan, I constantly leave notes, mail letters when out of state, hide small love reminders in his bag, truck. I do all these, let him know how muc. I love him, respect him, treasure him. I try to show him daily….yet how long can I keep doing this when he doesn’t appreciate anything. No cards, no gifts of any kind for anything….bday, Valentine’s, anniversary, nothing. I do not need “things” I want him to acknowledge me, I want to feel important to him. Valiable. Not the live in nanny. A homemade card, a love letter. Remembering a small thing. Planning a date. I have told him al of this, but it doesn’t matter. Everything and everyone else is so much more important. And it hurts. And I wonder why I should keep trying, when it doesn’t matter…

    1. Hey.

      I know what you’re going through. My husband did this to me for years, too. My first couple years as a wife, he was in deep dark depression because we couldn’t afford to pay even half our bills and then God gave us a child when we were trying not to.

      I would go into the toilet, the only place in our tiny house he wouldn’t realize, and cry out to God to help me encourage him, put up with him, whatever I needed to do. My mum had told me, and I think I need to tell you, that a marriage isn’t 50/50, it’s 100/100. If you’re doing 100, you’re so busy you don’t notice if they’re doing 0.

      In all that depression, he could only take take take. No receive. When guys are feeling that lousy about themselves, they can’t feel happy about much else. When they are under pressure from nagging (sorry but it’s what I was doing and what I suspect you are too, correct me if I’m wrong) to be changed- and saying/doing nice things at the moment is being changed for him I’m sorry to say- then he will dig in his toes and resist which makes us feel about two feet tall.

      Keep trying what you’re doing with a lovely attitude. Remember, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phil 4:13. You see, I have news for you. No you cannot do it alone. It is too much. No wife can, and nor should she. Seek his help, and what’s more. Ask God why he’s being hurtful. And listen to his reply. No guy does this to his woman for nothing, they feel like they have a damn good reason. He will have a reason and I dunno about u but when I have a reason then it’s a lot easier to cope.

      Also read 1 Peter 3. Believe that God can do anything. If you keep on going, you will see a change.

      Just one thing though: I’ve found that keeping on asking him if he can do this do that do the other for you (no matter how many good intentions there are, no matter how much you feel you deserve it) will make him not want to do it. Anything that is nagged at no matter what it is makes a guy go eek. They’re wired that way. So stop asking him to affirm you/etc. because all you’re doing by the sounds of it is drawing a wedge in your marriage. Yes the “perfect husband” would already know this, but none of us have him. Our husbands dint have the perfect wife they’d want, either 🙂 And if you feel weary, keep getting Gods help, and remember it is a work in progress and Rome wasn’t built in a night but it Was built.

      The wifely submission thing? God only puts that in cuz it’s the hardest thing, along with respect, for a woman to do. Loving us like Christ does the church (His wife), is the hardest thing for him. As hard as you have it to respect him and nurture him when he’s being a dot dot, he has it that same hardness to love you the way he should. Each has it the same level of difficulty. That is why you aren’t getting the level of love you need. In fact he probably isn’t getting the level of respect he needs?

      Cut your man some slack. Love is a choice. You choose every day to love him regardless. Anything whimsical and fluttering about like the wind isn’t love 🙂 you probably know this by now, I just wanted to remind you 🙂

      When I got married, I was told 4 things that every mum up my line told her daughters the night before: 1. Don’t deny him sex just because you’re mad with him (very important- however if there’s a health reason that’s different), 2. Don’t nag 3. Don’t try to change him, and 4. Divorce (we call it “the D word” and treat it like a swear word) isn’t an option and it’s never said in our house ever. It can creep into your thoughts like a little insistent fly otherwise, insidious. My dad was especially clear on the 4th as he has known kids turn from normal to special needs when their parents divorced.

      I really hope this has helped you. Just remember, God has your back, satan doesn’t, so listen to God only 🙂

    2. You are a Proverbs 31 woman!!! A true example of love to your husbsnd, and your children,….you SHALL be praised and honored by them,….eventually….. sometimes it takes a lifetime of diligence to reap a reward….do not grow weary in doing good. Talk to your husband and share with him that you too would love to receive tokens of affection. When he shows the littlest effort, thank him. Look for the little ways he says I love you on a daily basis…it is possible he may feel you are missing his attempts to express his deep love for you. So many times the way we show love, is the way we receive love. Ask your husband if he would like to plan your next date, then enjoy yourself in whatever he decides to do. Keep up the good work you are doing in your marriage, if you plant seeds of love, you will harvest love in return.

    3. It does hurt and I’m so sorry for your pain. I hope it will encourage you to know that nothing you do for the Lord is in vain. And I pray that any hardness and hurt between you and your husband will be replaced with His tenderness and healing. Don’t give up Sister. May God strengthen you.

      ~~ Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord. 1 Corinthians 15:57-58 ~~

      1. Susan, what a beautiful reply! God has used you to encourage many
        with His wisdom and love, including me. ?

    4. I understand you so much. I know it’s not easy it very hard I also been married for 13 years together for 20 I’m 34 and his 37 we have 8 kids 15 years and under im a stay home mom. It’s so hard life is a struggle but we have to do it. God gives us only what we can handle! Be proud we are smart and strong women that’s why we have what we have. At the end of the day men are the head of the house but we are the spine that Controls everything. So don’t give up keep praying for your family that God has something good for you.

  2. Hi Alizabeth,
    I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. You have done well to show your husband love in spite of what he does or doesn’t do. Yes, I can imagine all of your pain and frustration. Your question, “I wonder why I should keep trying, when it doesn’t matter…” Are you willing to love and respect your husband as unto the Lord if your husband never reciprocates it? I think this question will help you in determining your path.

    The other thing I would consider doing is having another heart to heart talk with your man about your needs in the marriage because we should be meeting each others needs as husband and wife. Share with him just one thing you need/want from him that day and ask him if he could do that for you(within reason, of course!). For example, perhaps your love language is words of praise and affirmation, you can ask him if he could send you a simple text that day letting you know how much he loves you or is thinking of you or whatever. Build from there.

  3. Alizabeth,
    I so feel your pain and frustration! Let me just say, “Been there, done that.” The advice you have been given is excellent. I would like to recommend two books to you. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman and The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle. Armed with your Bible (of course!) and these two books along with a committed spirit to respect and trust your husband, I believe you will see changes for the better.

    Prayers & Blessings,

  4. Great list!
    Learning your husband’s love language is vital. Even though I’m a words gal, #5 means the most to my husband because his love language is physical touch. I’m learning more and more with each passing year about how to show him love in ways that he actually feels that love.

  5. My husband and I have been married for just over a month now. I had been struggling with a burden on my heart that was related to my marriage. It was consuming me and of coarse keeping it to myself only made the burden heavier. I turned away from God a bit because I was too tired to fight this thing. Something about this post made me realise that this thing on my heart was not my battle to fight. I stopped reading and broke down in tears of relief when I realised that Jesus had already sorted and settled this thing at the cross. I had such a great heart to heart with God and realised how thankful and grateful I am to Him that I do not need to fight this thing, because He has already done that. I am grateful for my husband and the blessing he is to me and I prayed that God would guide me to be that godly wife God gave my husband, instead of me getting caught up in the pattern of this temporary world. I continued reading the post and am excited to show my husband love. Firstly through the love that the Lord shows me, by his guiding Holy Spirit. And the practical ways shared in this post are very helpful… thank you for sharing them. Something about this post touched my heart. God works in mysterious and wonderful ways.

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