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Take Time to Remember


Whenever we get together with college friends someone always starts by saying, “Remember when ____?” Then we all take turns sharing our favorite stories. We laugh so hard, it hurts. Though it’s been nearly twenty years since those stories took place, when we remember them together, it’s like time rolls back and we are college students once again.

The Need to Remember

Scripture is full of admonitions to remember. The Israelites celebrated various feasts during the year to remember all that God had done for them. Parents were instructed to tell their children the story of their redemption from slavery. Many events in Israel’s history were marked with pillars and monuments to remember what happened at a specific location. And Paul pointed back to the gospel to remind the Galatians of their freedom in Christ. Remembrance is important in marriage as well.

Just as the Israelites needed to remember their stories to keep them focused on their first love, we also need to remember the stories that bind our heart to our spouse. Like the Israelites, we are prone to forgetfulness and easily distracted. Remembering the stories of our past, the stories that connect us as a couple, pulls us away from distractions and refocuses our heart on one another.

Because the truth is, we can get so stuck in the muck and mire of our everyday responsibilities that we forget the joy of who we are as a married couple. Since my husband and I had children, our lives have gotten caught up in all the activities and details of raising them. As soon as my husband comes home, I bombard him with a series of questions from my to-do list: “Can you watch the kids on Monday afternoon so I can go to the doctor?” “Can you take them to soccer practice?”

But the reality is, one day our lives will return to just the two of us. The question is, will we remember who we are as a couple?

It’s important that we take time now to remember. We need to intentionally reflect on and talk about the fun times we’ve had together. We need to laugh at the old stories. We need to recall first dates and anniversary trips. We need to look back and see how far God has carried us in our journey together. We need to remember our love for one another and that our relationship goes deeper than being referees and disciplinarians.

Ways You Can Remember

* Visual Reminders: Use visual reminders to remember places you’ve gone and experiences you’ve had together. For our anniversary this year, I bought a DVD of the first movie we went to see together. After one special trip we took together, I bought a large glass container and put momentos from our trip, ticket stubs, and photos inside and displayed it in our room where we see it every day. And one year for Valentine’s Day, I put together a wall of photos in our bedroom of our travels together.

*Share stories: “Throw Back Thursdays” is popular on social media. Have your own throw back evening where you go through old photos together and talk about years past. Enjoy reflecting with each other on all that God has done in your marriage.

*Enjoy Hobbies: Plan dates together where you enjoy activities that you once enjoyed before having children. This past summer, my husband and I went on a hiking date and explored a canyon we’d never been to before. Perhaps you used to enjoy watching movies or attending concerts or trying out new restaurants. Take the time to return to those hobbies and enjoy them together once again.

In the midst of our busy lives, we can forget how much we enjoy being with our spouse. Let’s take time to remember, to laugh, and to treasure our marriage.

How can you take time to remember?



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  1. This is very well-written, and marvellous advice…for most people. But not for me.

    Much of my life was the sort you’d prefer to simply forget, and my marriage has been irrevocably changed by my terminal illness. It hurts too much to remember the old closeness, because it’s been lost in this fight for survival.

    I live day-on-day, not reminiscing, and not looking forward. That seems to work relatively well for me, at least thus far. Time will tell, I suppose.

  2. Andrew, I appreciate that you read it and took the time to comment even though the article doesn’t meet you where you are right now. In this broken and fallen world, relationships are far from what they should be and what God created them to be. We hurt each other, fail each other, and let each other down. That is why Christ came to redeem and restore all things, including our relationships. He came to do what we could not do, perfectly love God and others. He is a Savior who knows the pain and heartache we experience. He even knows the rejection we experience in our relationships as those closest to him deserted him at his worst hour. He died for us, taking the punishment we deserve for all the ways we fail to love God and others. He loved us and gave himself for us when we couldn’t love anyone but ourselves. And his love for us is perfect and complete, unconditional and without end. When everyone else fails us, he will not. I pray that if you don’t already, that you would know his love, that he would be the comfort and peace that you need, and that you would know the joy of being known by him. Thanks again for visiting here, Christina

  3. Thank you for this, Christina. And for this:

    “He is a Savior who knows the pain and heartache we experience. He even knows the rejection we experience as those closest to him deserted him at his worst hour.”

    These are things I know. And yet, need to be reminded of. Until three weeks ago I was a pastor, in a 15 year marriage with two beautiful children. And then I committed adultery, confessed, and am I the middle of losing everything.

    Jesus’ friends deserted him, and he was without fault. But I am definitely to blame for my sin. I don’t know if the advice in this wonderful article can help what very well could be a lost cause in my marriage, but with God, all things are possible.

    1. Peter, though he rejected and deserted Christ, was forgiven and restored. We are all sinners saved by grace. We are all in need of redemption and while some sins seem to have a greater fall out than others, Christ died for each and every sin. He doesn’t give up on us and promises to complete the work he began in us. I pray you would rely on that promise and believe that he will redeem and make all things new.

  4. My wife and I met in college ,on an exchange program in Costa Rica. We fell in love there and had the time of our life. That was almost 15 years ago. We now have 3 beautiful children Thanks we needed this to remember who we are.

    1. We place up memorials in our cities and towns to remember important people and events. May our marriages be considered important enough to create markers in which to remember our marriages. Thanks for reading!

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