Whenever we get together with college friends someone always starts by saying, “Remember when ____?” Then we all take turns sharing our favorite stories. We laugh so hard, it hurts. Though it’s been nearly twenty years since those stories took place, when we remember them together, it’s like time rolls back and we are college students once again.
The Need to Remember
Scripture is full of admonitions to remember. The Israelites celebrated various feasts during the year to remember all that God had done for them. Parents were instructed to tell their children the story of their redemption from slavery. Many events in Israel’s history were marked with pillars and monuments to remember what happened at a specific location. And Paul pointed back to the gospel to remind the Galatians of their freedom in Christ. Remembrance is important in marriage as well.
Just as the Israelites needed to remember their stories to keep them focused on their first love, we also need to remember the stories that bind our heart to our spouse. Like the Israelites, we are prone to forgetfulness and easily distracted. Remembering the stories of our past, the stories that connect us as a couple, pulls us away from distractions and refocuses our heart on one another.
Because the truth is, we can get so stuck in the muck and mire of our everyday responsibilities that we forget the joy of who we are as a married couple. Since my husband and I had children, our lives have gotten caught up in all the activities and details of raising them. As soon as my husband comes home, I bombard him with a series of questions from my to-do list: “Can you watch the kids on Monday afternoon so I can go to the doctor?” “Can you take them to soccer practice?”
But the reality is, one day our lives will return to just the two of us. The question is, will we remember who we are as a couple?
It’s important that we take time now to remember. We need to intentionally reflect on and talk about the fun times we’ve had together. We need to laugh at the old stories. We need to recall first dates and anniversary trips. We need to look back and see how far God has carried us in our journey together. We need to remember our love for one another and that our relationship goes deeper than being referees and disciplinarians.
Ways You Can Remember
* Visual Reminders: Use visual reminders to remember places you’ve gone and experiences you’ve had together. For our anniversary this year, I bought a DVD of the first movie we went to see together. After one special trip we took together, I bought a large glass container and put momentos from our trip, ticket stubs, and photos inside and displayed it in our room where we see it every day. And one year for Valentine’s Day, I put together a wall of photos in our bedroom of our travels together.
*Share stories: “Throw Back Thursdays” is popular on social media. Have your own throw back evening where you go through old photos together and talk about years past. Enjoy reflecting with each other on all that God has done in your marriage.
*Enjoy Hobbies: Plan dates together where you enjoy activities that you once enjoyed before having children. This past summer, my husband and I went on a hiking date and explored a canyon we’d never been to before. Perhaps you used to enjoy watching movies or attending concerts or trying out new restaurants. Take the time to return to those hobbies and enjoy them together once again.
In the midst of our busy lives, we can forget how much we enjoy being with our spouse. Let’s take time to remember, to laugh, and to treasure our marriage.
How can you take time to remember?