Life is busy. We’ve all been there. So busy that we wonder if we are really walking out the will of God in our lives. So busy that all we can do to make it through the day is pray, pray, and pray some more. So busy that when we lay our head down at night we realize this one thing: We allowed ourselves to be consumed with the business of life and didn’t make time for our spouse.
Have you ever been there?
We have. Many times.
But our merciful God gave us a bit of advice to make sure that we are careful to always make time for one another in this busy world we live in.
One night over a decade ago as we sat down to pray together because we simply felt ourselves drifting apart, the Lord brought this scripture to our remembrance:
Do two walk together except they make an appointment and have agreed?
Amos 3:3 AMP
Did you see that? Not only do we have to be in agreement to walk together as a married couple, but we have to make an appointment. What the Lord showed us through this scripture that night during our desperate prayer is that we have to slow down and make intentional time for one another. No matter what.
Life will always try to steal your time. The enemy uses seemingly harmless things to distract us from spending time with our Heavenly Father. The enemy tricks us into taking our eyes off Jesus so we are no longer hearing the still small voice – and begin to live life the way we think we should be. And this includes our marriage. Don’t let the enemy divide your marriage friends, fight for it! Fight for your time together!
We have spent over 5 years apart in the last 11 years due to military combat deployments. But we still have managed to make appointments with one another. Even though many of these appointments have not been in person, we still had them.
Some of the ways we’ve managed to “meet” when we were separated by geography are:
- set a specific time of the day (according to the variance in time zone) and agree to pray for one another at the same time
- commit to emailing one another every other day with a word of encouragement
- commit to doing a Bible study together via email
- for those who are able to call (we weren’t always given that luxury) one another, commit to a certain time of day and stick with it as much as life allows
- be available when your spouse needs you – even if it is a phone call at 2am because they are feeling down
- hold a monthly meeting to discuss ways to connect in the current season of life – this has blessed us over the last 14 years of our marriage!
A few other suggestions to make sweet time together are:
- enjoy a sweet breakfast together – even if your spouse has a different schedule make the time once a week to make it work
- meet up in between errands for a quick hug and chat – even 5 minutes makes a difference
- have a prayer meeting at lunch time whether in person or by telephone
- drop a sweet note in your spouses lunch or pocket to invite them to spend time with you
- the possibilities are endless, make it work for you
Regardless of the “way” you make time for your spouse, it makes a lasting impact on your marriage. Life can be busy, especially when you have a family and outside responsibilities, but there is still time for your spouse. Don’t allow the business of life to pile up it’s weight on your “meeting place” or you’ll soon see that you don’t know one another as intimately as you once did. After all, your spouse should be your best friend, and we all know that a best friend is someone that you can enjoy being with no matter what you are doing.
If you and your spouse are already feeling disconnected, take a step back and come up with a list of ways that you can commit to making time for one another. God blesses us when we write the vision down (Revelation 2:2). Pray for God to give you wisdom on how to reconnect. And always keep in mind that we cannot compare what our marriage looks like with any other marriage. Your unique marriage has unique needs that only you, God, and your spouse can accomplish. It’s important to remember that. God will show you what to do.
We encourage you to always make time for one another, your marriage depends on it. Don’t let your covenant become second fiddle to anything else. Stay committed to your spouse until the end. It’s worth it!
Want more marriage encouragement? Join us over at Fulfilling Your Vows™ where you’ll find lots of encouragement for Christ-focused marriages.
Michael & Carlie Kercheval
Fulfilling Your Vows™