Father’s Day is right around the corner, and there’s something about Father’s Day that causes me to evaluate how I’m treating my husband. Am I building him up or tearing him down?
Your husband might not be a dad, but this annual celebration of men sure is a good time to rethink how we’re treating ours.
It’s easy to fall into a lull in our relationships, and our selfish sides have no trouble identifying our husband’s shortcomings. But I don’t want to be a wife who complains about her husband!
I want to be like the highly-regarded Proverbs 31 woman — a wife who can be fully trusted, counted on, and celebrated. I want to do my husband good, and not harm, all the days of our lives (Proverbs 31:26).
If you’re like me and want to honor your husbands, start with these 5 ways.
5 Ways a Wife can Honor her Husband
Pray for him.
One of the best ways to honor our husbands is to pray for them. When we pray for our husbands, humbly and honestly, amazing things begin to happen.
He might never change (although the best changes happen when we leave him in God’s hands, rather than our own), but we will.
We begin to change. God changes the lense through which we see our husbands.
I have found that when I am praying faithfully for my husband, I am more patient, forgiving, joyful, and grace-filled. I don’t take offense as easily, and I judge him a whole lot less.
Praying for our husbands changes us and changes the way we see our husbands, making honoring him much easier and more natural.
Check your tone.
Do the people around you hear honor or dishonor in your voice when you talk about your husband?
Maybe you already know the answer. Think about your responses to your husband’s questions or requests. Are you snippy or snarky? Do you roll your eyes or heave an exasperated sigh? If so, a great place to begin honoring your husband is to change your tone. If you’re not sure whether or not your tone of voice (or body language) demonstrates honor, ask the people around you — your kids, friends, coworkers, or in-laws. If you’re feeling really brave, ask him! You might be surprised at what your tone of voice communicates.
Speak his language.
If you want to communicate honor to your husband, make sure you’re speaking a language he can understand. I wrote a long list of ways to show our kids love, and similarly, our husbands have a certain love language. If you’re speaking the wrong one, your husband might know you love and respect him, but he may not feel like you do. Find out his love language and work at using it daily.
Yep. It’s simple, but a simple thank you can go a long way. Do you notice when he takes out the trash or re-fills the ice cube trays? Or maybe he got the kids on the bus or filled up the gas tank in your car. Look for reasons to say thank you, and then say it! Give yourself a challenge to express appreciation at least 5 times a day.
Praise him — in public.
How do you talk about your husband in front of others? Do you complain about his snoring or how he “never helps around the house”? Do you crack jokes about his shortcomings or point out his flaws?
One of the quickest ways to undercut your husband is to criticize him in front of others, so do the opposite. Find ways to build up your husband in front of other people. Complement him. Share something he did that blessed you. Point out his strengths.
(Some of you are rolling your eyes, so let’s get real. Finding the good in your husband is difficult sometimes. There are seasons where our sight is so clouded by criticism or hurt or disappointment, finding the good qualities feels impossible. If you’re struggling with this, ask God to help you. When you’re tempted to complain (in your heart or out loud), stop, confess your anger or bitterness, and ask God to show you one quality about your husband you can celebrate.)
These 5 ways to honor your husband are simple but effective.
Start today and watch the good it does in you, in your husband, and in your marriage.
Want to go one step further in honoring your husband? Join our 4-week challenge, created with busy moms in mind and designed to breathe new life into your marriage. Find out more here.
Taking the challenge with you,
Erika // erikadawson.com
Resources for You ::
- Creative at-home date nights you’ll actually use
- Reset your relationship with this FREE 4-week Marriage Challenge
- The Last Day of Marriage
- 5 Struggles Men Face and what a Wife can do