I felt like the lone ranger, on a mission to lasso my daughters hearts in one weekend. I was riding solo, while my husband manned down the fort and kept the rest of the crew “happy” at home with his hidden emergency stash of sugar and field trips to town.
For each of our children, the guys and the gals, we plan a special Purity Weekend , with the wholesome purpose of sharing the changes that their bodies are experiencing and what God has planned for marriage, relationships, and sex.
A-W-K-W-A-R-D. Not from my mouth, but one of the terms I heard throughout our weekend together. It was a silly, laughing, light-hearted, deep-conversation weekend for all of us. A memory etched into our hearts forever. We were open, honest, to-the-point beautiful, and when our weekend was over? They hugged me tight, thanked me for taking this time, and being so real.
So, why DO the generations consider this taboo? Avoiding THE talk with their children? Expecting them to learn, know and get the scoop from a quick encyclopedia lesson or a small sit down talk to see what exactly they do know and we fill in the gaps?
While we parent and focus so much on their hearts, preparing our children for the path they will walk ahead, why would we forsake the seriousness and beautiful plan of growing older, sex in marriage and purity today?
Oh, what a world of difference WE can make by reclaiming this time as OUR gift to them. Giving them the whole plan, God’s picture and security in trusting our authority and instruction in this area – rather than picking up the terms and tools of the world.
So, why DO parents avoid THE talk?
Uncomfortable – There is no doubt that some of the things we need to say and explain to our children will be uncomfortable to describe, and their reactions just the same will match the situation.
While looking around the room of our hotel on our Purity Weekend, I saw one daughter pretending to be occupied on her Ipod, one with her jaw on her chest and her big blue eyes gaping at me in shock, and another – listening intently with a lot of questions.
Uncomfortable? Perhaps. But, I would much rather broach the subjects now, then have my daughters having to ask someone else, or always and never know what God has designed for each of them for His covenant marriage.
We are the grown-ups now. Working hard to show our children humility and grace. This is your chance.
Unsure – Is there a right way or a wrong way to share with our children? Perhaps you are unsure about what to tell them, when and what age?
Every family will need to consider these questions and how their family is unique to the answers. The real answer you might be searching for is, “where do I begin?” A wholesome, Biblical view of relationships, sex, marriage and purity will give you and your children all you need to begin talking together.
We use this amazing material, and find it to be super helpful while filling in the gaps and giving us a pattern for our weekend. Passport to Purity, has been taken along and used for our first six children, and has taken the “fear” out of the questions, the approach and the topic.
Do you have a Vision for Virtue for your family? This is a great time to add this to your “parenting plan,” and prepare your children with understanding, information and conviction.
What a blessing our Purity Weekends have been to each of us. Our Vision for Virtue has been instilled into the hearts and minds of our children. You can take a peek here at our special get-away and how we crossed the generational gap of “the talk,” and virtue in our children’s lives.
God has a a beautiful plan, and we are part of it – sharing the vision with your family will create a new generation with a heart for purity.
September, One September Day