My husband and I are in a season of learning how to parent together. For awhile, I was doing things my way and he was doing things his way. Every now and then we chimed in and gave each other pointers on how to handle a situation. And of course we both thought our ways were right!
Our first year of parenting was tough. We were both new to the role of parenting. It was hard. We were so exhausted that we were mostly hands off when the other parent was taking charge, watching, or engaging with our son.
Now our son is going on three and our daughter is almost 3 months old. We have been more intentional with the way that we parent, learning how to better do what God has called us and equipped us to do with our children.
One of the greatest things we have learned that has radically impacted the impact we have on our children is being one. That’s right, you have heard it said that a man leaves his mother and clings to his wife and the two become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Well we are not suppose to be one in marriage and two in parenting! Our children need us to be one and operate as one to provide security and consistency.
If we are not one in our parenting, my husband and I have experienced the hard way that our son takes advantage of that. He uses manipulation to get what he wants. He pushes boundaries and pushes our patience. We were basically creating an environment that wore down our patience with him. Then we would both snap under the weight of exhaustion.
Operating as ‘one’ means that we talk about how we want to raise our children, what boundaries to set, and then stick to what we decide. We support each other in parenting and we encourage each other in parenting. We are on the same page now. So it doesn’t matter who is hanging out with the kids, mom or dad, because we know what we want for our children.
To be one in parenting means that we must communicate with each other what we desire for our children. We must talk about boundaries, discipline, education, play and everything in-between. Parenting as one requires a husband and wife to yield their hearts to one another and to God, to listen, to pray, and to carefully consider how every decision made is one that will impact their children. Parenting as one requires a husband and wife to stick to a plan, to support each other and to affirm one another.
Parenting as one with my husband has been vital to the growth our son has experienced. He is growing up to be a mature young boy. I strongly believe that as we move forward, parenting as one, our son will be blessed and we will be blessed.
– Jennifer Smith Unveiledwife.com
