I’d Rather Be a Crown Than a Trophy Wife

I'd rather be a crown than a trophy wife.

Some days I look around and can’t help but think that I don’t measure up. Don’t we all? I’m not a hockey mom, a trophy wife, Martha Stewart, or Beth Moore. I’m just me. I don’t run marathons, knit hats, bake well, or scrapbook. I read.

Barely five feet tall, I look up to other women in more ways than one. I still have this feeling that if they divided the women in my neighborhood into two teams, I’d be the last one picked. I’m not the life of the party. I’m the introvert who struggles to socialize while others throw their heads back in laughter and chit-chat with ease.

I’m a star at Pinterest fails. I have one crooked arm. And I wake up with the wildest hair that needs to be tamed.

Don’t get me wrong–all of those things are great. What isn’t so great is the insecurity that sneaks in when we can’t do it all.

Insecurity is a lie that Satan wants each and every one of us to believe. We aren’t perfect, and he’s sure to point that out to us every single day. He’ll never show us our importance because in doing so we wouldn’t realize our importance to God, which is why we must keep our eyes off of the world and on the One who perfects us through grace.

Moses didn’t think he could be used by God because he wasn’t eloquent enough. How many times are we held back because we’re not good enough either? How many days are we discouraged because we don’t realize the extent of God’s grace?

I’m not a perfect wife, but I cling to the verse in Proverbs 12:4, “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband.” With joy I’m reminded that I’d rather be a crown than a trophy wife, and that I’d rather have virtue than vogue.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. – Proverbs 31:10

We’re so much more than just another pretty face; we’re deeply loved by a God who numbers each strand of our hair!

Have you surrendered your life to the Lord? Here’s merely a glimpse of who we become through His grace:

A friend: Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you. – John 15:15

His children: But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name. – John 1:12

Joint heirs with Christ: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. – Romans 8:17

Free: Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage. – Galatians 5:1

Redeemed: In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace… – Ephesians 1:7

A New Creation: So then, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; what is old has passed away–look, what is new has come. – 2 Corinthians 5:17

Seated with Christ: [He] hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus… – Ephesians 5:6

And the list goes on…

Seriously–does any of this compare to a bad day, or what what people might think about you? Do people point out your flaws, your mistakes, your past? Who you were can never compare to who you are in Christ.

You were bought, you were purchased, you were redeemed, you were set free, and you–yes YOU are loved by an almighty God!

Darlene Schacht

Excerpt from my book, The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife: 18 Powerful Lessons for Personal Growth (an Amazon best-seller)


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  1. Amen. Well said Darlene. It is not so important how the world views us, it’s what we do for our family, through God, that will last for eternity.

    Peace to you.

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