“Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.”
Last month, I posted three things a wife may want to tell her husband but is afraid to. While certainly not true of every relationship, I challenged guys to consider if it applied to theirs. As I mentioned before, I have had the privilege of speaking into the lives of couples preparing for marriage, couples trying to strengthen their marriage, and couples fighting to save their marriage. Sometimes this is incredibly rewarding, and other times, well, rather painful and heartbreaking. The good news is that the gospel offers incredible hope for moving beyond where you are at to where God wants you.
In a similar fashion, ladies, now it’s your turn! While I know your husband is far from perfect, there are likely things he wishes he could tell you that he might be too afraid to say. Or perhaps he’s already tried telling you, but the message has been missed.
While I know every couple and situation is different, the following are three things your husband may want to tell you (in love of course):
1. “Let me Lead”
Sometimes women wrongly assume that men are the only ones who try to rule over their spouse. There is no question that men can sin in the direction of being too passive or by being too much of a dictator. If you lean on the overbearing side (and I mean that kindly), then step back and let your husband initiate spiritual leadership in your home. You just might be surprised if you are patient with him, and in love, encourage him to take the reigns. What if he never does? Then like Timothy’s mother, keep being faithful to lead your family, while prayerfully waiting for God to do a work in your husband’s heart.
2. “Encourage Me”
Your husband carries a heavy load. If your husband is like most guys, he is struggling with the demands of work, the pressures at home, and his own internal battle to measure up. He might not ever tell you, but chances are he’s getting beat up, and beating himself up, most days. It’s not easy to be a man, let alone a godly man. He longs to hear you encourage him and respect him with your words. Proverbs 10:11says “The words of the godly are a life-giving fountain.” Your husband is thirsty for words of life. Don’t let him live in a dry and dusty land! Your words of life can be a tremendous blessing and encouragement to him as he seeks to follow Jesus. Cheer him on and let him know how grateful you for all that he does. Be careful not to dwell on where he is, but keep in mind, where God is taking him.
3. “Pursue Me”
It’s a myth that only women want to be wanted. Guys handle rejection about like an ant handles a magnifying class on a hot sunny summer day. It kills them. The truth is, your husband desires to be pursued. Sadly, many marriages lose their romance when kids come along. Often tired and drained, a wife can fail to fuel, or initiate romance with her husband. You need to know that he wants you to want him. God has given sex as a unique gift for a husband and wife to enjoy greater pleasure and intimacy. When this is missing, the marriage is likely hurting.
While certainly not exhaustive, these are three things your husband may likely want to tell you. God has given you all the resources you need in Christ to love your husband in grace and truth. Praying that by His grace, He will give you the strength and wisdom to love him and your family well.