Long after the wedding bells have stopped ringing and the newness of being married has worn-off, many couples find that it is possible to have too much of a good thing; you love your spouse, but sometimes you just need a minute on your own to regroup. If you’re like us, you’ve found yourself (a time or two) feeling anxious at the idea that your partnership is forever. Here are some great tips on how to avoid marriage burn out.
How to Avoid Marriage Burn Out
Chat about Boundaries
All of us need to be treated as the individual people we are. As a couple, the people that you were before you wed came together to become a united couple. That being said, you are still entitled to your own personal space. Having your own places to store your belongings, time to yourself for personal care, etc. are essential to respecting one another. Chatting about those times when each of you may need your own space will set expectations so that burn out doesn’t occur due to too much together time. In our relationship we’ve moved around a lot. As we have, we’ve set parameters for his/hers sorts of things: where will each of our clothes go, where do we store our own toiletries, etc. Just because we love each other doesn’t mean that we can’t have some space to ourselves.
Don’t Lose the Romance
We know, you’re probably already thinking “yeah, right…with what time?” when it comes to keeping the romance going. If you’re like us, you hit the ground running the minute that you turn off the alarm and fall asleep on the couch, trying to stay up late to get work done. It is possible, though, to find time for romance! Little notes throughout the day, scheduling date night as you would a business meeting (so you’ll stick to it), and other reminders throughout the day are all it takes to keep the romance alive.
Give Each Other Space
As much as we love having time together, we also realize that time apart makes us stronger when we’re together. Encouraging one another to get together with friends, take occasional weekends away and pursue hobbies outside of the home will keep each of you refreshed. It will help you to see your relationship, not as one that prevents you from being yourselves, but one that supports the individual people that you are. The way that we make sure that we’re providing support to one another is to look at the calendar at the beginning of each month and add in each of our outside-of-the-house activities. We look for balance and, if it’s not there, encourage one another to take some extra “me time.”
Create a Must-do Together List
Sure there are things that each of us has on our own “bucket list.” Maybe you want to see all 50 states or travel to an exotic location. Creating a similar list of all of the experiences that you’d like to have together can help to keep things exciting. First, create a list of all of the things that you’d like to experience with your spouse. Then set a goal for how many of those items you’d like to check off of the list within a year. At the end of the year, check off how many you’ve accomplished, add new ideas to the list and set a new goal for the next year. This Must-do Together List can serve as a fun new approach to New Year’s resolutions and will help you to avoid getting burned out by day-to-day married life.
Wishing You God’s Best,
Mike & Carlie
Do you have other ideas about how to avoid marriage burn out? Please share your thoughts!