• Home
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • RSS

for the family

everyday wisdom for everyday families

  • start here
    • Meet Patrick and Ruth
    • Meet the Contributors
    • Statement of Faith
    • Privacy Policy
    • Contact Us
    • Videos
  • For Better or For Kids
  • You
    • Following God
    • Ministry
    • Relationships
  • Family
    • Marriage
    • Motherhood
    • Fatherhood
    • Parenting
      • Special Needs
      • Babies
      • Toddlers
      • Teens
    • Discipleship
  • Food
  • Shop

Motherhood

Guilt-Free Motherhood

As Mother's Day approaches, many of us will enter into celebration with thanksgiving for this role and this season, but for others, a looming sense of guilt and a reminder of all that they are not will overshadow the day. Are you there? Holding tight to all that you feel you've messed up as a parent? There is a way to celebrate, even in the midst of messy days and messy hearts. Come away with us today and discover guilt free living (and parenting!)

May is the month for Mother’s Day. A day to celebrate the hard work of motherhood and show our appreciation to mothers everywhere.

Or, it’s a day to feel guilty.

I’ve known women who’d rather skip celebrating Mother’s Day due to babies that have died, strained relationships with their own mothers, or because they suffer from an acute feeling of failure in their own mothering.

Mother-guilt can come in many forms. Do I breast feed or bottle feed? Continue to work my full-time job or stay home? Parenting choices and options are endless. Add to that the constant stream of social media that can lead me to compare my lifestyle choices to those of others and I can soon be questioning if my choices are the “right” ones.

Thankfully, there’s a way to be set free from guilt-induced motherhood.

No Condemnation

If I’m experiencing feelings of guilt, I need to discover if those feelings are conviction from the Holy Spirit or from comparing myself to others or some mythic image of motherhood I have in my mind. If I’m experiencing conviction from the Holy Spirit then repentance is needed. Have I belittled or shamed my children in anger? Have I mishandled disciple?

There is no need to wallow in guilt or feel helpless. I experience freedom from guilt when I take my sin to Jesus. He died on the cross to save me from all of my sin, not just at the moment of salvation but everyday afterwards. I can ask forgiveness from those I’ve wronged and seek change by God’s grace, reminding myself of what Psalm 103:12 says, “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

In her book, Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, Sally Clarkson reminds me that I will fail again and again, but that through this very work of mothering God “shapes us into His own image along the way.” She shares that she learned to “live in the reality of Romans 8:1-2: ‘There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death.’ ”

Follow Jesus

Other times I may have no legitimate reason to feel guilty, I may simply be struggling with comparison. Although I enjoy social media, it can sometimes tempt me to feeling like I don’t measure up. If I constantly look at what others are doing through the lens of comparison I may feel like a “bad mom” for silly reasons like not making cookies from scratch.

But the only one I need to be following is Jesus.

By focusing on my relationship with Jesus I can be confident in what He has called me to. God loves my children wants their good even more than I do! He will give me wisdom in decision-making and insight into their unique personalities. As Clarkson writes, “We can only please God if we listen to His call on our lives. Each of us has a different personality, different strengths and limitations, and different passions and stewardships. God gives us great freedom to exercise wisdom and authority in order to rule over our lives and make it productive for our own families.”

In my relationships with my children there will be times I get it right, times I get it wrong, and times it won’t matter. But as a Jesus-follower I can experience guilt-free motherhood regardless.

Blessings,

Danielle Ayers-Jones

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)


About Danielle Ayers Jones

Danielle Ayers Jones is a storyteller. Whether it’s with paper and pen or behind the lens, it’s one of the things she loves to do best. Her love of all things bookish and artsy led her to earn a degree in English and Graphic Design and to work in an art museum pre-motherhood. She has written for Ungrind.com, iBelieve.com, StartMarriageRight.com, Thriving Family, Clubhouse, Jr., Radiant, and Relevant. She also combines her love of writing and photography on her blog. It’s a space where she seeks to find beauty in the everyday, joy in hardship, and encouragement in unexpected places. Danielle lives in Maryland with her husband and three children.

« 3 Things Parenting Takes…. {part two}
What Your Wife Really Wants for Mother’s Day »

Hey there! Thanks so much for stopping by our blog. We are absolutely thrilled you are here! We are a crazy church planting couple who loves Jesus, our four kids and loads of coffee! We are giving God the glory every step of the way and love sharing our journey with you.

Read more about us

Subscribe and receive our free guide to help you get through this season of suffering.

POPULAR POSTS

  • No Bake Coconut Snowballs (GF)
  • How to Build a Christian Home
  • 10 Little Things to Bring Peace into Your Home
  • Five Lessons of Wisdom from Abigail
  • How Your Family Can Pray for VBS this year

Categories

Search For the Family

Copyright © 2022 For the Family · Design by Bethany Beams