Choosing to Adopt: One Couple’s Story
John and I always told ourselves it was a good thing we had kids while we were young, that way we’d still be young when they were out of the house. We made lot of plans, to travel, to enjoy quiet evenings together, to have a clean house not cluttered with toys.
Then I saw a magazine article about orphans, and that got me thinking about adding another child to our home. John wasn’t interested when I first mentioned it. I didn’t prod. Instead I just prayed. I didn’t know if it was God’s plan for our family that God would bring both of our hearts into agreement. He did. We didn’t get the China baby we first planned on, but we have three new Goyers in our home. We don’t travel as much as we like. We are exhausted during the evenings. And the house is cluttered with toys. But we stepped out and followed God’s call, and we couldn’t imagine life without these kids.
We never had that empty nest feeling in our home. When Tricia and I started dating, there was already a baby in tow. Those “easy to get away for the weekend” adventures were something other people got to enjoy. I will admit I was looking forward to those days. I love the kids, but I really longed for the ease of the empty nest. Since we would be in our forties when the last one left for college, we would still be young enough to enjoy an easier life of a smaller home, smaller cars, and less to arrange when we want to play on the weekend.
Then I felt conviction about that attitude. God did not call me to a life of ease. We get one shot at this life, to make a difference in the lives of others. Following a hedonistic philosophy of pleasing myself does not honor God or the sacrifice he made for me. God placed a new desire in my heart. True worship is this: to care for the widow and the orphan. So now we have Tricia’s grandma in our home and three little ones. They are work, and they are joy, and they are an opportunity to share the love of the Father to those who need someone who will get out of their easy chair and love.
Have you thought about adoption? If so, it’s time to pray. Maybe God put the desire on your heart for a reason. Choosing to adopt is a huge step and a huge responsibility. It’s also an amazing blessing. I can’t imagine life without our kids. They have the same place in my heart as our biological ones.
After you pray, wait and see what God brings into your path. For our first adopted daughter, God connected us with a birth mom through a mutual friend. For our other two kids we kept hearing about adopting from the foster care system over and over and over. And the very day I’d planned to talk to John about it, but he brought it up first.
Open your heart, seek unity with your spouse, and be willing to let God work. There is a reason He’s tapping you on the shoulder, wanting you to pay attention.
There are a million reasons why adopting a child or two is a bad idea. Maybe you don’t feel you can financially afford it. Maybe you feel inadequate. Maybe you are just afraid of the unknown. Maybe a minivan will mess up your image. None of those reasons are reasons God would give you. Listen to the heart of God. The one who desires the best for you and the best for those waiting for their forever-home. Following God in the tug God is placing in your heart will be the best thing for the child and ultimately for you as well. This is an exclusive offer. Act now! Children are standing by.
John and Tricia Goyer, triciagoyer.com
Thank you for sharing your experience with adoption here. At this point in life, I feel like I would be open to it, but I know my husband would not. The heart of the matter is something I’ve been praying over lately. Not so much that we would adopt, but that God would break (both mine and my husband’s) heart for what breaks His, and that He would call us accordingly, whatever good work that may be or look like.
That is a beautiful prayer, Rosann. I was interested in adopting about 7 years before John was. I just waited and prayed! God changed my husband’s heart in HIS good time!
I adore this and can SO relate! My husband and I got really uncomfortable feeling so comfortable where we were. God moved our hearts to adopt and we are so close to bringing them home!
I’m SO excited for you, Christin!!! God is so good.
We can very much relate to this. I was called for adoption when I was 13/14. My husband…didn’t really hit until he was in early 40’s. He thought, maybe two (we had 3 biological kids and were empty nesters by this time…or nearly so). Within 18 months of deciding to begin our home study process, we had 6 kids (3 adoptions). Done right? Nope…God had other plans. 10 years later….2 more (sib group). Within 4 months of getting them home….a caseworker really wanted us for her sib group. She waited for us to finalize on our boys, update our home study so we can move forward with her sib group. A group of 7 biological siblings. Everything is ready…now waiting for travel itinerary as we speak. That is 9 more kids in the span of a year. If you lost count, this will give us 15 kids at home (all but one from the foster system…the other is a private adoption and the only newborn we’ve adopted) + the 3 bio kids. Our kids will range in age from 34 to 2. So we are a long way from being an empty nester again. In reality, I don’t think it is all it is cracked up to be. Having grandkids and kids the same age….that is what it is all about!!
Oh and for what is it worth for the other families out there…..it was always placed on my heart months (or at the beginning….years) before my husband’s. I think that is God’s way of preparing us, and when our husbands’ hearts are changed, it is time to move forward. All in God’s timing and not our own.
Such an encouraging story. Thanks for sharing and God bless you in all you do for His Kingdom!
Wow, that is amazing!!!! I love how you are able to trust God with your family!
We are right in the middle of our third adoption (from the SAME birth mom!) and are struggling with getting support from some of our family members because they don’t think we can “afford it.” We keep trying to tell them that we may be choosing a different lifestyle from them – i.e. no Disney vacation, less eating out, doing without new clothes – but we are CALLED to this! We AREN’T called to a “life of ease.” And, as I told one family member, I would rather step out on faith and see what God can do with my life then “play it safe” and find that I had made zero impact on this earth for Him!
I agree with you! It’s a sacrifice for sure, but worth it!
Both of our Children are adopted. Both adoptions took less time than pregnancies. One mother picked us 4 days after we turned in the application and the other mother picked us within a week.
That is AWESOME Cathy!
I needed to read this. We adopted our first foster placement of a sibling group and have been asked to adopt our 2nd sib group placement. For months I had my heart set on “no way” for all the unBiblical reasons you mentioned. God convicted me this morning through your words to view being the mother of these new children as a privilege not a burdenThank you.
You’re welcome, Kristen. God is good!
Thanks for a beautiful article, we definetly have faced this situation at our agency. Sometimes the mom prevails and they start the process. However, sometimes it doesn’t work out this way. ;( Hopefully this will help some parents with decision. I posted on my facebook, hopefully that will give you some more followers. I would love to talk with you about more about posts we could use, and maybe adding your link as a resource to our company website. (adoptionoptioninc.org) Thanks for sharing.
Love this thanks for sharing. I feel like financially it is the hardest but i know it’s what God wants fo us now. I have 5 biological and working on one to be adopted. I feel like bursting sometimes with all the emotions that goes into it. But i remember i had similar feelings waiting for my others to be born. ♡♡♡♡♡
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