I don’t remember much from our premarital counseling sessions before our wedding day, but the one point our pastor stressed repeatedly was to not allow the “molehills” of marriage to become mountains. I didn’t know what he was talking about then, but I do now. I can’t say I’ve done well with applying this truth, but I’m starting to understand it better 14 years into our marriage journey.
It’s wild how one minuscule petty argument can turn into a volcanic eruption. Minor offenses like towels left on the floor, what qualifies as expired food or not, missing car keys, annoying habits, miscommunication, forgetfulness, and more… all these examples have turned into mountains in our marriage at one point or another and made me think, Oh, our pastor was right!
I’ve had to stop in the heat of the moment, and ask myself, is this worth fighting over? Sometimes it’s not until after the eruption… but still… both of us have been guilty of gripping tightly to small offenses.
Proverbs 19:11 teaches us that it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense: “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense” (ESV).
There are some things worth being upset over in life, but there are many things that just aren’t worth it.
What if we were easily unoffended?
Because truth is, these minor offenses can all add up in our hearts and lead to bitterness and anger if we’re not careful. Our hearts can grow callous, resentful, and too focused on our spouse instead of seeing the areas we need to work on.
There will always be an opportunity in your marriage to either dwell on the offense and get angry or to instead love, forgive, and move on. It’s not too late to ask for God’s help in being more patient with your spouse in the areas that drive you crazy. It’s never too late to choose forgiveness, regardless of your feelings.
If there’s a molehill in your marriage that’s become a mountain, is it worth jeopardizing the peace, joy, and oneness in your relationship? What steps can you take now to move towards a healthy relationship?
Forgive the minor offense as Jesus has so mercifully forgiven you.
Samantha Krieger is the author of Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches. Her writing appears regularly on Her View From Home, TODAY Parenting, KirkCameron.com, and For the Family. Connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.