A year or so ago I was challenged to think/talk/write about “showing my real.” Not an easy topic because being real and vulnerable and honest is NOT the “American way,” and it does NOT come easy for ME, either. To be brutally honest, I’ll tell ya that sometimes it’s even hard for me to show my real to the closest people in my life. And sadly, at times, being hesitant and oftentimes “closed up,”has resulted in me being more exhausted from people than I should be. Why? Because I have tried to be too much for too many, instead of just being real and being ME for the people God has put in front of me, such as my own 3 kids.
I cling to a verse that I have muttered or mindlessly stated, prayed in desperation, and even cried with conviction, from 2 Corinthians 12:9.
“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
THAT is Jesus talking right there and THAT is pretty refreshing. Because you see, like I said, I have a hard time showing my real. (Maybe you can relate?) This translates into…I have a hard time showing my weakness, which translates into…people probably have a lot of misconceptions about my life.
Being in full time ministry (my hubby is a pastor), puts a different spin on my life because I really feel like our family is watched closely, even if unintentionally, by the world around us. It’s a weird role to be in but I really really love it…now. I have learned that the MORE I let people see that being a mom is super duper hard and I DON’T have perfect kids, the closer to REAL. And this gets everything closer to Jesus looking BETTER: “My power works best in weakness.”
I have also learned that the MORE I am honest that I have junk in my life that needs to be forgiven and surrendered, the closer to REAL I get. This is a new revelation for me. Years ago I thought the opposite. Share less, talk less, listen more. Right? Not always the case. People want to know I’m desperate for a savior, too. Especially my kids. They need to see that mom is wrong and that mom needs Jesus.
And lastly, I’m learning that the MORE I choose to appreciate the fact that IF I am blessed to open my eyes and wake up tomorrow, I will once again have a few mundane tasks ahead of me. There will be laundry to fold, a sparkling dishwasher to be emptied, lunches to be made, veggies to chop, counters to be wiped–again. But, then I will be a step closer to REAL. Why? Because… my exhaustion and my weakness need Jesus in me to bring JOY and patience and a heck of a lot of love to my hubby and kids, in the midst of the mundane.
The second part of 2 Corinthians 12, verse 9 says:
SO NOW I AM GLAD TO BOAST ABOUT MY WEAKNESS, SO THAT THE POWER OF CHRIST CAN WORK THROUGH ME.
So there you go. We have one shot at this life. We all have to learn to be ok with living it not so perfectly–so Jesus can be seen better and work bigger in our roles, tasks, responses, and messes. 🙂