We’ll never forget the night the Lord revealed the importance of using conversations to cultivate strong communication in our marriage. We were a newly engaged couple on fire for the Lord and were thrilled that the Lord was speaking to us. Having conversations and a strong marriage? That’s brilliant. And we were all in. Seems simple enough, right? However, the truth is that what the Lord taught us that night would be anything but simple.
3 Types of Conversations that Cultivate Strong Communication in Marriage
1. Holy Conversations with God
The first type of conversation the Lord taught us to have are holy conversations with Him. But what exactly does that mean? How do we have holy conversations with God when we are anything but holy? The answer is two-fold; we can do so by being consistent in prayer and through our worship.
Prayer is one of the most intimate ways we can communicate with God while being changed from the inside out. Prayer is a holy, intimate way to communicate with God that is pleasing to Him. Both of these ways of communicating with God are holy and draw us closer to Jesus. When we get closer to Christ we naturally become closer to one another.
2. Holy Conversations with Each Other
This seems self-explanatory, right? Well, it’s not as simple as one may think. Being holy isn’t something that comes naturally to us as humans. Holiness is actually the exact opposite of how our flesh behaves and how our natural minds are wired. But there is good news! Romans 12:2 (NLT) tells us:
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
The most crucial component of having ongoing Christ-focused conversations with our spouse is renewing our mind in God’s Word. When we do so we edify one another through speaking life-giving words to one another instead of words that tear down and destroy.
Having holy conversations with each other helps us to grow closer to our spouse spiritually, mentally, and physically.
3. Holy Conversations with Others
To be honest, when the Lord spoke our heart about this one, we were a bit puzzled (and we were in our early 20’s so we still didn’t know much…haha). How exactly would having holy conversations with others help us cultivate strong communication in our marriage?
The answer and process was quite simple: By engaging in gospel-centered conversations with others we are allowing God to sharpen us. Proverbs 27:17 tell us, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” This is a wonderful, built in gift that God gives us when we prioritize Him in our conversations with others.
It’s no secret that marriage is hard work. Not only is it hard work, it’s also a lot of heart work, too. But the truth is, God designed the institution of marriage to glorify Him, not to be easy. When we discipline ourselves to have these three types of holy conversations, we will be setting the foundation for an amazing lifelong marriage!
For His Glory,
Mike + Carlie Kercheval
Co-Authors: Consecrated Conversations: 30 Conversational Devotions for Couples
Co-Founders of: Marriage Legacy Builders™