Let me start by saying I am not an eloquent writer. English was my poorest subject in school and grammar was the worst. I am a general contractor, which requires math and grit. If this is grammatically correct when you read it, it is because I have a wife who comes along behind me and “cleans things up.” This is exactly what the Lord laid on my heart to write today.
This last July 8th2013, my wife September and I celebrated our 24th year of marriage. We have weathered many storms together. God has blessed us with 10 wonderful children, while choosing to take 7 precious babies home early. This is the year I learned to listen to my wife. God has given her abilities and perception that I don’t have. I’ve realized that there have been a number of storms we have endured because I just would not – listen. There are times as a dad or as a husband, when we think we need to exude control in our home, to our wife, or at work. We are to show self- control, absolutely, but in our home and to our wives we need to show dependance.
Grit. I know something about. I have lived a lot of my life with grit. Work has been my banner. It would be safe to say that I had always wanted to “die with my boots on.” I have worked in every season of weather, while sick, hurt, many late nights, and Saturdays.
My oldest son recently told me that my strongest character trait is a good work ethic. This was like a punch to my stomach. He is now 21 and his memory of me is – work. I’m trying to write through tear filled eyes now. He didn’t use the words – Godly, teacher, or prayer warrior. The hours of working were not all for our income or our needs. I spent 22 years as a deacon of my church, worship leader and youth leader, with countless hours of working and serving. I was “filling up my tank,” but not ministering to those closest to me.
Gifts that God gave to me to treasure and disciple.
God has brought us to a better place. Those were good and fruitful years, but, now I know – They could have been better.
Two things I have learned?
- We are dependant. The more we know and the older we become – the more we realize this fact. May I encourage you? Young fathers and husbands can learn this early: Seek God now… for He wants you to find Him. Your children need to know you are seeking Him, that you depend on Him, that you trust Him, and without Him there is only death, destruction and heartache. Make HIM, and not your pride or your grit – the foundation on which your home is built.
- We are dependant on our wives. They complete us and we complete them. We are to be in the process of oneness. If they truly are a gift from God (and they are), then it is for our good. Not a trophy, nor a maid, but – a treasure. We need to guard them, guide them and listen to them. God created them with the need to be listened to. It is our job.
People that listen more – learn more. Do you want to be a blessing to your wife?
Learn to listen and trust her judgment. God didn’t give her to you by mistake. She will see and hear in ways you cannot. You need her as much as she needs you.
Jesus said that He came not to do his will, but the will of the Father. He is our example to which we have been called. (John 6:38)
Surrender and dependance. I know it now more fully than ever. I live this daily as a lesson learned the long way around.
Dependance is not weakness.
Will you make this your prayer today? Are you leading your home with grit or dependance?
“Father, teaches us to number our days.” (Psalms 90:12)