Shattered dreams. Desperate. Depressed.
He’s felt like a failure as a provider for the last 7 years. As his wife, I can’t help but look at him with compassion as he tries to do whatever he can to provide for us.
Back in 2007, when the economy started to collapse, so did his business. It was a staggering blow to his confidence.
To this day, he is still reaching and trying to climb out of the pit of failure, as he calls it.
He’s stays up late. He researches new ways to do business. He takes whatever work he can find.
The man is full of integrity, hardworking, and brilliant. His IQ says he’s a genius. I’d probably score only half of what he did and I’d be labeled as, “Borderline deficient in intelligence.” Yes, that is a category! But really, who cares what I know, it’s WHO I know and his name is Jesus.
So, back to my husband. One would think a man who possesses those qualities and characteristics would have the ability to provide a life filled with financial freedom, or at the very least, financial peace.
Not so in our case no matter how hard he tries.
Then I think of Joseph in the Bible. Another honorable man, yet he spent many years of his life in a pit (or in a jail). Not because he was dumb or lazy, but because the Lord allowed things to happen in his life. So I hold on to this example when it comes to my man.
I desperately want to see him excel in life.
Just a few weeks ago he was given the opportunity for some advanced training in his field of business. I knew this opportunity would greatly help him, but there was only one problem. The cost of the training was several thousand dollars.
He shared with me this opportunity and I asked him what was holding him back.
His answer. Me.
Me? I said, shockingly.
He didn’t want to spend the little bit of extra money that we finally had to further his business skills.
I sat there in silence.
I was filled with fear knowing that the little bit we did have would no longer provide the financial security I was longing for. Yes, our bills were covered but I wanted a safety net.
But I went back in my mind to what my husband needed in order to excel and possibly get out of his pit. He needed some help. He needed some tools. He needed my encouragement. He needed me to believe in him.
But my natural default over these past several years was to be cynical. To think things would fail and fall apart again.
So I sat there and pondered my position of influence.
As wife, I could either clip my husband’s wings or help him fly.
I knew in that moment he needed me to help him fly.
Maybe your husband needs you to help him fly? Here are some ways to help him:
7 Ways to Help Your Husband Excel
- Show interest in him and his work.
- Study him. Figure out his strengths and his weaknesses. Seek to fill in the gaps of where he falls short.
- Choose faith over fear.
- Pray for strength. Yours and his.
- Choose to encourage him rather than discourage him. Everyone needs a support system.
- Move forward in unity with your decision-making process.
- Know that God’s got a plan for your lives and trust Him in the process.
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4
Need some biblical guidance and encouragement for your role as a wife? Check out the Wisdom for Wives On-line Conference!